No sweat:‘Missing’ Simmons just exerting right to privacy
Richard Simmons is still missing.
More than a month after the first installment of Dan Taberski’s six-part “Missing Richard Simmons” podcast aired, the flamboyant Afro-sporting exercise savant in sparkles who hasn’t been spotted in three years, is still nowhere to be seen. Same for his short-shorts.
I remember Simmons way back from his appearances teaching aerobics to the rhythmically challenged leotarded ladies of Port Charles on General Hospital (YouTube it and laugh!). And from a public high school aerobics class where the gym teacher rotated exactly two videos. If we weren’t step-touching along with a see-throughblack-lace-thong-body-suitandJane Fonda on her Lean Routine workout, we were doing the swim to “Peggy Sue” on Simmons’ Sweatin’ to the Oldies.
Like many Americans, I’d occasionally see Simmons on TV — like when he’d willingly be David Letterman’s punching bag — but I never gave him much thought. And now, like many Americans who have made “Missing” the hottest podcast, I can’t get him (or his sequins or his Dalmatians he named after characters from Gone With the Wind) out of my head.
Call it engrossing or just gross, but Taberski’s study — or is it stalking? — of 68-year-old Simmons, from his roots, to his relationships, to his abrupt, unannounced retirement (the showy Simmons taught his regular exercise class at his Beverly Hills fitness center Slimmons on Feb. 14, 2014, and was never publicly seen again) has been fascinating. Taberski, a filmmaker and friend of Simmons, maintains his objective is not to embarrass him, but to empathize with him: “The goal isn’t to drag him back. It’s to find out why someone like him would ditch the world.”
That is if he did in fact voluntarily ditch the world. Perhaps he did, due to depression (related to knee replacement surgery and the death of a dog) or another mental disorder, fatigue, shame over possible regained weight or that National Enquirer rumor that he was undergoing a sex change.
But there are far more sinister theories as to why he closed his business and stopped associating with longtime friends. The craziest one alleges that Simmons is being held hostage by his longtime housekeeper, Teresa Reveles, possibly through brainwashing or witchcraft.
Simmons’ representative, Tom Estey, has called all abuse allegations against Reveles “a complete load of crap,” telling Us Weekly, his boss just wanted to “live a more private life.”
Still, Taberski and husband Jay, who dined at Simmons’ home back in 2013, noticed an odd dynamic with Reveles, who lounged while Simmons and another staff member cooked, served and cleaned up.
Jay recalled, “She seemed like she was the mistress of the house. She wasn’t working or helping … and she sat at the table the whole time. She was just quiet and waiting for this thing to be over.”
Taberski added, “She is one thing for sure — Teresa is in charge.”
It’s unclear who is in charge of Simmons’ social media account. But someone continues to update it with posts that are years old and suspicious.
Said Taberski: “Last March, Richard tweeted something about Barbra Streisand with the wrong spelling of ‘Barbra.’ That ain’t Richard. No way. No how.”
But while Taberski is concerned for Simmons, others believe he’s fine.
Simmons himself insisted he was well during an appearance on the Today show last year — a phone appearance.
Earlier this month, Los Angeles Police Department officers responded to his residence for a welfare check, and Detective Kevin Becker told People: “He is perfectly fine and he is very happy. I don’t know what he is going to do, but right now he is doing what he wants to do and it is his business.”
Simmons’ older brother Lenny, who visited Richard at Christmas and talks to him every Sunday, reported in the podcast that “He’s doing what he wants to do, which is just to enjoy life and kick back. … He doesn’t talk to very many people. I wish he would, but I can’t make him. … I don’t understand it, I wish I did, but I have to respect it.”
And now that the ultimately unfulfilling podcast is over, so do the rest of us.
We’ve worked out our imaginations quite enough. It’s time for us to exercise some civility.