Sensibilities suffer when replacing mascots.

Too pure to even hear the ‘R’ word

LOOK AWAY, look away, look away, Vermont. In what may be the silliest bit of news this side of California, there is much ado about something going on in the Green Mountain State.

It’s a rebellion. Sort of.

Of late, folks in South Burlington, Vt., have been fighting over their high school mascot. No, it’s not an Indian or Redskin or Seminole or even a Ute. (Yute? What’s a Yute?) The school mascot for South Burlington

High School is . . . the Rebel.

Until recently, nobody cared. It was Vermont being Vermont, that is, difficult by choice. If you think Arkies are cantankerous, imagine being minutes away from Albany and having to deal with all those New Yorkers on the weekends. But recently pictures emerged from the early 1960s showing some kids in the Rebel yearbook posing with Confederate flags. At that point, the most pure among the community movers and shakers gasped. Attention must be paid! Delicate feelings might be hurt! Pearls must be clutched!

This being 2017, and monuments to the past falling all over by the minute, the Rebel is persona non grata in Burlington, Vt. (headquarters of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream), and most everywhere else. History is being re-written from New Orleans all the way to, well, Burlington, Vt.

That is, the Rebel is non grata for a vocal few. Many people interviewed in Burlington say they aren’t ashamed of the Rebel at all. The Wall Street Journal reported that to protest the whole effort, folks in Burlington have twice turned down a $50 million school budget, some putting signs in their yards reading, “Be a Rebel. Vote No.”

Imagine being ashamed of a rebel mascot in Vermont! The home of Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys. After the American Revolution, which was quite the rebellion, Vermont was its own republic until 1791 when it finally—finally—joined the Union. Before then, the “reluctant republic” had its own currency and government.

One wonders if Vermont history is being taught in Vermont schools, and, if so, if the adults making these current decisions paid any attention while in those schools. (“There are your enemies! The redcoats and the Tories! They are ours, or this night Molly Stark sleeps a widow!”—General John Stark, hero of the Battle of Bennington, 1777.)

What could the new mascot be? Why, the folks in Burlington, Vt., can look just down the road to Amherst College in Massachusetts, which recently changed its mascot from an undesirable unperson—to a mammoth. According to the college, the mascot was chosen because a mammoth is (or was) “stupendous and monumental” and . . . a herbivore. We’re not kidding. Of course, education bureaucracies can be similar North or South, back East or out West. The school board in Burlington has put together a South Burlington School District Mascot Selection Oversight Committee. The SBSDMSOC has 40 members, and those meetings will take up much time. And will likely accomplish as much as any other 40-member committee.

But at least after a decision is made about the Rebel, either way, the school board will be able to point to the SBSDMSOC to deflect blame. We understand that’s similar to how editorial boards work at some newspapers. Who needs responsibility when it can be shared by dozens of people? This is what passes for leadership these days.

AFTER THE SBSDMSOC reaches consensus, and the school board rules, athletic jerseys, banners and score boards will have to be changed. Not to mention school chants, fight songs and hoodies. Down the memory hole. A Rebel is just so . . . Southern. Even if rebels have been part of Vermont’s scrappy history.

Here’s a suggestion for a new mascot, if the people of Burlington allow their betters to stampede them: The Snowflakes. What could be more safe and non-threatening? Although the Fighting Snowflakes might not strike fear into the opposing football team on Friday nights, more adults in Burlington, Vt., could sleep better o’ night. Until they’re able to find some other nonsense to offend their delicate sensibilities.