MONEY MANNERS
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: After having lunch together, a friend and I asked the server to split the check. The tab then came to about $ 12 each, so I added a $ 2.50 tip on my credit card slip. When my friend saw this, he laughed and good- naturedly said: “Hey, big shot. What’s with the 50 cents? No one tips in less than whole- dollar amounts anymore.” Can this be right? I consider 20 percent a good tip, and see no reason why I should have left more. — Puzzled
DEAR PUZZLED: What are friends for, if not to monitor our tipping practices and snicker at them?
Seriously, your friend was wrong to needle you about the gratuity you left. Twenty percent is, as you say, a good tip, and it’s not your problem if your friend — or your server — fails to appreciate it. Look, if it’s OK for a restaurant to price a sandwich at, say, $ 8.50, it’s also OK for a customer to tip in 50- cent increments. DEAR JEANNE &
LEONARD: For the past 10 years, I’ve taken care of my now- 93- year- old father’s finances, paying his bills, managing his investments and overseeing the preparation of his tax returns. He always has been appreciative and has never criticized the decisions I’ve made. But recently a new person moved in across the hall from him at the independent- living facility, and apparently all this woman does is brag about the jackpots her son supposedly has hit in managing her money. So now, while clearly trying not to be critical, my father has begun asking me why I’ve never bought stock for him in companies like Tesla. When I explain that his money is invested in much lower- risk stock and bond index funds — in other words, in investments appropriate for someone his age and level of wealth — he doesn’t really pay attention. Instead, he volunteers to ask his neighbor for her son’s latest “tip.” I’m not sure what to do about this. Your thoughts? — T. D. DEAR T. D.: Try not to take it personally. After all, it’s not unreasonable for a son to thump his chest for his mother’s benefit, not unreasonable for the mother to brag to a neighbor about her son, and not unreasonable for the neighbor to be interested in what he hears. It’s also not uncommon for an old person to lack the judgment he had as a younger man. Whether or not he was thinking about it at the time, this final point is one very good reason for your father to have turned his finances over to you when he did.
So, what should you do? One, to the extent that you can, set aside your understandable annoyance and be patient with your father. Two, keep an eye on his accounts online, to be sure he doesn’t start acting on these “tips” on his own. And three, Google the new neighbor and her son, just to be certain their names don’t turn up in any stories about conning the elderly. … Good luck on all counts.