Grumpy and annoyed

OK, I admit it, I am a Grumpy Old Man, and the older I get the grumpier and more annoyed I am by a lot of things other than “Liddle Donny Trump.”

The thing at the top of my list today that aggravates me is the profusion of local TV commercials from car dealerships, lawyers and home services that use children, grandchildren, and even dogs as their spokesman. I can’t understand the kids; either they talk too fast, too soft, or are not old enough to speak plainly. I’m hard of hearing and it frustrates me to try and read lips, especially on a dog. Would I actually be dealing with the kids or dog if I came to your business? I’ve seen some pretty smart dogs, but I’m not signing on the dotted line for any of them.

If these businesses are so determined to see their kids or pets on TV, I wish they would just take out a 30-second ad and show some of their school pics, soccer games, birthday parties or baptisms. It would free up a lot of airtime that could be better used by companies that have products that I could benefit from—high blood pressure meds and treatments for irritable bowel syndrome.

And one more thing, for all you folks who travel down U.S. 65 into Conway around 6 a.m. every day, you can stop all the tailgating, horn-blowing, lights flashing, and one-finger waves. I only drive 45 mph. I am on my way to get my coffee and two sausage biscuits at McDonald’s, and until I get those each morning, I’m in no mood for your nonsense. I am the guy in the black Chevy truck that has the “I Miss Bill” bumper sticker. Please stay back at least 100 feet from my rear end.

Well, I have to run, my phone is ringing. I’m sure it’s Rachel from cardholder services. Boy, do I feel better now after getting that off my chest! JAMES CALVIN WALKER

Conway