MONEY MANNERS
DEAR JEANNE &
LEONARD: My friend “Brandon” loves dogs and is very responsible. So when I went to see my father, who was recovering from surgery, I was happy to accept Brandon’s offer to keep my Australian Shepherd puppy, “Cricket,” on his ranch. Unfortunately, Brandon’s girlfriend, “Jessica,” was staying with him that weekend, and she carelessly left the door open, so Cricket got out. Being a herder, he went straight to the horse corral, where a horse kicked him in the head and killed him. I was heartbroken. I also was disbelieving — and furious — when Jessica later hugged me and said she’d planted a rosebush in Cricket’s memory. As if that were enough! I paid over a thousand dollars for Cricket. Nothing can bring my wonderful dog back. But I think, at the very least, Jessica owes me the money I paid for him. If it weren’t for her thoughtless, irresponsible behavior, Cricket would be alive today. Don’t you agree? So you know, Jessica makes a good living as a stockbroker. — Cynthia S. DEAR CYNTHIA: We don’t know whether Jessica was being naive or calculating when she came up with the rosebush idea. But shame on her for not acknowledging that she was responsible for Cricket getting out, apologizing profusely and offering to reimburse you the money you paid for the dog.
One question, though: Where is Brandon in all this? As the person caring for your dog, he had an obligation to make certain his girlfriend understood the importance of not letting Cricket get out. At minimum, he should now be pressuring her to do the right thing. And if she refuses, it wouldn’t hurt for him to offer to split the cost of your next puppy with you. His good deed in offering to look after Cricket doesn’t absolve him of his failing to look after his girlfriend.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Every week I go out to lunch with three friends. When the time comes to pay, they always want to split the bill equally. The thing is, I usually order a much less expensive meal than they do. So, all too often, I wind up feeling resentful about having had to pay for a fourth of my friends’ seafood pastas and salmon fillets while they pick up their share of my soup and side salad. How can I politely put a stop to this practice? By the way, all three friends have significantly more money than I do.
— Angie DEAR ANGIE: Even if your friends did not have significantly more money than you do, their behavior still would be wrong.
To answer your question, though: The easy — and polite — way to handle the situation is for you to start asking the server to bring you a separate check, explaining to your friends that you’re having only a light meal. They’ll probably feel a little embarrassed when they realize the implication of your request … as well they should. Please email your questions about money, ethics and relationships to