The Christmas rally
Sometimes even these troops need a pep-talk
Twas the day before Christmas, late in the year, The sleigh was all packed, filled with good cheer. Santa was humming, “O Silent Night,” Reindeer were ready, planning their flight.
But something was missing, as elves moped around, All year they’d been sluggish, downcast and frown’d. They did their jobs well, as union elves do,
The trains stayed on tracks, the custom drones flew.
He’d tried Human Resources, to lighten the place, But reminders of “merry,” didn’t cheer up his base. The trick wasn’t done by off-campus summits, Morale, it seemed, continued to plummet.
Santa only had hours, no time for this guff, He needed some spirit, Christmas-y stuff! The children could tell, if something was lacking, if merry was faked, if Santa was slacking.
He called all departments, all heads, all divisions, The vice-chair in charge of sugar-plum visions, Accounting and legal and cookie-sheet maintenance, IT and data and big item finance.
Santa emailed staffers, “Let’s rally the troops. The elves, the painters, the various subgroups. We’re not going to start the holiday this way, there’s too much merriment planned for this day!”
The elves and the reindeer came to attention, IT and vice-chairs hastened to listen.
St. Nick walked to the podium with care, He smiled, looked happy, and said with a flair:
“Been a year, what? Elections and tension.
And even things worse that I don’t want to mention. You pick up the papers, and so much bad news. No wonder my people have stockpiled the blues.”
“Washington, Moscow, the Middle East, too. You know, this list I won’t continue. Instead, this is Christmas! Or at least it’s its eve! On all adverse news, how ‘bout a reprieve?”
“Instead,” said Santa, “what about all of th’ good? Remember the year, the way that you should! This night, at least now, forget politics!
Let’s talk about miracles and the solar eclipse!”
“Royal weddings are planned, royal babies await, Twitter wars, of late, have begun to abate. Schools are focusing more on the arts, Spacemen get groceries from recycled parts.”
“Star Wars is out, equality is in,
Our 401(k)s make our retirements a win.
More kids take tests to prepare them for college, Environment’s cleaner than some would acknowledge.”
“Layaway bills were paid off in Jersey, Fewer people, each year, go hungry and thirsty. Fears of zombies are increasingly thin. And SNL seems to be funny again.”
“Rhinos and tigers are making a comeback, so are grizzlies and the American grey wolf pack. More eagles and manatees we’re starting to glimpse. Most over, seems the experiments on chimps.”
“Chins up!” Santa shouted, as the elves started clapping. “Work’s to do, with all the painting and wrapping! Then load all it up, on my sleigh with great care, kids know that Santa, tonight will be there!”
The place was a-stirring, the speech was a hit! Even the vice-chairs had to admit
That Santa was right, this here Christmas Eve The world had more to cheer than to grieve.
The helpers resumed loading the sleigh, The reindeer took one last shot at the hay. When all finally loaded, and Rudolph all ready, The elves buckled in Santa, all safely and steady.
As the sleigh took off, for its long flight, before Santa wished all that Christmas goodnight. The old boy yelled, just before he forgot it: “Folks, you don’t know, how great we have got it!”