MONEY MANNERS
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Three years ago, my brother took early retirement, sold his home in another state and moved in with our mother in Arizona. The agreement was that he and his wife would take care of our then-87-year-old mom until her death, in exchange for which they would inherit her home. Well, now he and his wife want to move out. Our sister in California has said she’ll look after Mom. But we have to sell Mom’s home in Arizona; buy one in California; move her; move our sister in; and hire a daytime caretaker, as my sister still works. So here’s the question: How much of the proceeds from the sale of the Arizona house is our brother entitled to? We want to be fair, realizing the sacrifice he’s made. But Mom’s going to need a lot of money to purchase a place in California. — L.M.
DEAR L.M.: Since your brother backed out of his agreement to care for your mother for the rest of her life, he has no claim on what he was to receive in return for doing so, namely: her home. But you’re right: Fairness dictates that he get something for his three years of service. We suggest that you talk to some home health care agencies to find out approximately how much it would have cost for
your mother’s care had your brother not moved in. Then talk to realtors to get a sense for how much your brother and his wife saved in rent by living in your mother’s home. Subtract the second number from the first, and your family has a starting point for discussing a fair amount to compensate your brother.
Two caveats, however: One, don’t distribute any money to your brother until your mother passes away. You never know how much she’s going to need in her final years (plus, he was never to get anything until she died). And two, don’t start handing out large sums of money until you’ve consulted with a CPA to make certain there will be no unintended tax consequences.
Good luck. Our hats are off to you and your siblings for all you’re doing for your mother.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Our small local history museum was about to lose its lease when a “benefactor” stepped forward and said he’d pay our rent for the next three years, provided we rename the museum after him. The problem is, this “benefactor” is a former city official who recently resigned after acknowledging he’d behaved inappropriately with several women who had worked for him. What should we do? If we don’t accept his offer, we literally have no place to go.
— Torn
DEAR TORN: If Harvey Weinstein offered to pay the rent for 10 years, would you name the museum for him?
Of course we realize that it’s important to keep alive the history of your community. But don’t sully this honorable undertaking by selling out to a reprobate trying to polish his tarnished image. Move your artifacts into the garages of your members, and start looking for other benefactors.