Beyond #MeToo Guest writer
Time to seek balance, change
Who raised these strong, often tall, often handsome leaders that became predators on womankind? Wake up, America! “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
It’s about time that women could call a spade a spade and not be ignored or ridiculed, or worse. I loved hearing Ann Curry saying on CBS that there is probably not a woman alive that hasn’t experienced some sort abuse.
While I personally never experienced physical abuse, I’ve certainly experienced verbal abuse, sexual and otherwise. It was humiliating, and I couldn’t think of a good comeback.
It took me years to find my voice as I matured. But, I also must say, I’ve suffered verbal abuse at the hands of some women also.
It started with the 1960s and the sexual revolution.
Free sex, vulgar language, lewd dress, comedy shows that made women the butt of sexual jokes. Remember Hugh Hefner’s “Playboy Bunnies”? Remember crude jokes on late-night television starting with Johnny Carson? If you’re too young to relate to those, there’s the Victoria’s Secret display of soft porn for retail sales commercials or the latest outrage, Sports Illustrated publishing an issue “honoring” #MeToo with a display of nude women.
We laughed and ogled. But our sons were taking note.
Then, men in the 1970s began to be displaced in jobs, by Equal Employment Opportunity Commission regulations, by minorities and women. We cheered when women began to break out, as well we should have, and women took their rightful place and earned more. Shows starring women like Mary Tyler Moore and Marlo Thomas set examples of how young women could get ahead.
But for some inexplicable reason, we were never able to pass the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution.
Women ignored it and charged on, breaking barriers in the news, but creating resentment in men that continues until this day. Still, we all embraced lewdness, nudity, sexual jokes, until it has invaded even the daytime TV shows and everything in between.
Now add a leader in the form of a president who seems to have no respect for womankind, as evidenced by the video which he later suggested that his comments were only “locker room talk.” Locker room, indeed! That’s the very problem. Woman are portrayed as sexual objects with scorn.
Is it any wonder, then, that men of today—powerful or not, because even fraternity boys and servicemen are attacking and abusing women—take it for granted that women don’t know what they want and are merely objects of their own personal desire.
I’ve watched in complete incredulity over the last 30 to 40 years as we have embraced these ideas. “I can have it all; sex is free; there are no consequences.” In the ’80s and ’90s we added worshiping greed.
We’ve accepted the lies of the bankers; we’ve accepted the lies of the politicians. We believe we’re over-regulated, but we endorse lack of discipline in our schools, in ourselves.
We teach our youth it is unacceptable not to win, that even losers win. Wrong! There are times you don’t win and you learn from mistakes.
We are so impacted by all these lies we’ve allowed ourselves to be deceived. And now we’ve elected the epitome of our beliefs, a leader who isn’t “perfect” but the changes he can make will be worth it.
I’ve had much of the success I’ve had as a result of support from men who treated me as an equal, and who encouraged me. I’ve also had to watch my back from some women. This has been a very one-sided, yet necessary, reckoning. But we need to realize our role in what we’ve created, seek balance and make some changes.
Wake up, America! We’ve sown the wind and we’re reaping the whirlwind. Time to accept our part in it and change things! Sharon Welch-Blair of Little Rock is an award-winning financial services professional in a male-dominated occupation since 1987. She is married and has two children and four grandchildren.