How much is enough?

In the world of modern parenting, there is a phenomenon called screen time—the number of minutes that children are permitted to interact with some kind of electronic device, a smartphone, tablet, computer or television. The amount of screen time our kids are allotted is a constant source of heated debate among adults.

Some parents are purists. They don’t want their children (at least while they are very young) to be exposed to the glowing blue light of screens of any kind. They read with grave concern the studies that suggest strong correlative links between screen use and developmental delays, struggles to develop emotional connections, obesity and behavioral problems.

They are understandably alarmed by the fact that some leaders in the technology industry don’t want their kids and young relatives on social media, that many Silicon Valley executives intentionally send their children to low-tech schools, and that one of Facebook’s founders recently opined that “God knows what [social media] is doing to our children’s brains.”

While they may not actively advocate for industry regulations, with a heavy hand they regulate screen time in their own homes, keeping little eyes away from YouTube and Instagram and preventing busy little hands from swiping that smartphone.

I am trying to be one of those parents. The problem is, I struggle in my own relationship with screens. And I’m not alone.

According to a recent Pew Research survey, 77 percent of Americans go online on a daily basis. I am one of them. And if you’re reading this article online, congratulations, so are you.

On its surface, that doesn’t sound so terrible. Most of us check our email at least once a day and use the Internet for work, to locate a business, message a friend on social media, purchase something online, read the news or answer a question.

In moderation, these activities are not problematic. They’re beneficial. Massive amounts of information are available to us in a matter of seconds. We instantly can be connected to people and cultures previously unavailable to us because of geography. The Internet has radically changed how we work. It’s revolutionized our system of commerce. And the connectivity the Internet affords has made the world a smaller place in positive and meaningful ways.

But the study also found that more than one quarter (26 percent) of American adults now report they are online almost constantly, up from 21 percent in 2015. This is especially true of people who use mobile devices, where the percentage of people online constantly increases to 31 percent. That should be cause for concern.

While adults with higher incomes and college educations are more likely to use the Internet almost constantly, frequent Internet use has been growing across multiple demographics, especially among people 18-29 and 30-49, who are of childbearing age.

You have only to think of your daily interactions with other people to see the potential and realized pitfalls of this growing trend. From distracted driving to depression and disassociation, the perpetual pull of the online world isn’t a boon for adults. (I won’t even address the concerns about online content.)

It’s reasonable to think that certain jobs might require people to be connected for the entirety of the work day. Members of the news media, technology professionals or online marketers, for example, rely on the Internet and mobile devices for their livelihoods. The study did not inquire after respondents’ professions, but it seems highly unlikely that being “constantly online” is a job requirement for most Americans.

For most of us, the amount of time we spend online is a choice, governed only by our ability to regulate our own behavior. Which brings us back to our kids.

Many parents limit the screen time available to children for all the reasons and more mentioned above. They hope that imposing rules will change their children’s behavior and it may.

But kids are profoundly influenced by the behavior they witness. When it comes to screens, it increasingly seems like it’s do as I say, not as I do.