Pity the poor old words used only by old people

Maybe this has happened to you. A song you love comes on the radio as you’re driving.

You start singing along or nod your head to the beat or rhythmically bang the steering wheel with your hands. You feel great.

Then the announcer tells you that song is an oldie.

“Ugh,” you think. “How did I get so old?”

I wonder whether words feel that way when dictionaries classify them as “archaic.”

The American Heritage Dictionary defines archaic words as those that “were once in regular use but now are relatively rare and suggestive of an earlier style or period.”

Merriam-Webster says archaic words have “characteristics of the language of the past” and survive “chiefly in specialized uses.”

The Oxford Dictionaries website is most detailed, saying that archaic words aren’t in everyday use and may have lost one of their original meanings. The words sometimes are used to add an old-fashioned flair to historical novels or to inject humor or a bit of absurdity into a conversation. Who doesn’t love occasional absurdity?

Some examples:

You might say, “Methinks I’ll retire to my bedchambers” instead of saying you are thinking of going to sleep.

Your husband might say, “Prithee, whither went the last piece of pie?” when he wonders who ate the slice he had been craving.

Some archaic words still are used, but their earlier definitions no longer are valid.

“Discover” once meant to reveal or divulge. Today, when you discover something, you learn it yourself first, then reveal it to others.

“Embarrass” used to mean to hamper with financial burdens. Today, it means to make your sister blush by saying something she doesn’t want people to hear.

“Marry” today is what two people do at a wedding. In the past, it was an exclamation of surprise. (Insert your own joke here.)

“Nice” once meant finicky or particular. Now it means

pleasant.

The meanings of some words are nearly the opposite of what they once were. “Let” once meant “to hinder.” Now its meaning is closer to “not hinder.”

“Learn” once meant “to teach.” Now, it means to absorb what others teach you. I’m not sure whether this is why people will sometimes say, “That’ll learn you.”

Some of the following “archaic” words are familiar because I play Scrabble and do crossword puzzles — two activities where such words aren’t unusual.

“Orts” are scraps of food. “Jakes” is an outdoor toilet. “Hie” means to go quickly. “Raiment” is clothing. “Pate” means head. “Ague” is a fever and chills, not to be confused with the early Tom Jones song “Chills and Fever.”

Some pesky words have been deemed archaic by Oxford but not by Merriam-Webster

or American Heritage. That is not surprising, because different dictionaries have different philosophies.

My favorite archaic word from Oxford is “poltroon,” meaning an extreme coward. I am nearly certain I have heard Bugs Bunny call Elmer Fudd or someone a poltroon, but I couldn’t find anything to back up my belief. Or maybe I’m thinking of “maroon.” Are any Looney Tunes experts out there?

The meanings of other words might be clear even though we rarely, if ever, use them. A “larcener” is a thief. A “lordling” is a minor lord. A “Lucifer,” who spends his time in Hell, is a match that you’d use to light something. A “malapert” is one who is impudent. A “pistoleer” is someone armed with a pistol. An “animalcule” is a tiny animal.

I started searching for such words because “whilst,”

“amidst” and “amongst” sounded like oldies to me.

“Whilst” seems like a fancier version of “while.” Rather, it’s primarily British for “while.” It’s not archaic.

“Amidst” is listed as a variant of “amid.” It’s also not archaic, but Oxford Dictionaries says its use is mainly literary.

“Amongst” sounded old to me. It made me think of part of a prayer, “Blessed art thou, amongst women …”

I’m no more likely to use “amongst” than I am to use “thou” on a normal day. Still, “amongst” is also not listed as archaic. Oxford says it’s chiefly British.

Even “betwixt,” meaning between, isn’t archaic.

I’m not sure whether that makes me feel older or younger.

Sources: Merriam-Webster, American Heritage Dictionary, Oxford Dictionaries, The Phrontistery bkwordmonger@gmail.com