Porta-potty at rest stop temporary

Dear Mahatma: Really? Now there are portable toilets at the rest stop at the midway point of the beautiful new stretch of U.S. 70 between Benton and Hot Springs. Hope out-of-state travelers don’t think that’s how we live. — Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed:

In the days when our boys were Scouts, these things were known as Brendas. No matter the name, they were invariably serviced by honey wagons.

Ain’t American slang beautiful?

We naturally asked the Arkansas Department of Transportation about this and learned the portapotties had not a whole lot to do with the major highway project admired by all who speak of it. We have not driven it yet but hope to soon in order to reach the Charlton Recreation Area west of Hot Springs.

Charlton has a beautiful swimming hole, with cold, cold water. The faint of heart need not apply.

Here is what we have learned.

The restrooms at the Lonsdale Rest Area were closed in early February. The water well collapsed. The rest area opened back up on Feb. 28 with the portable toilets.

Since then, ArDot has worked with the Department of Health to get a permit to install another well. Drilling should commence soon, but a successful well is no guarantee.

If a well can’t supply the necessary water, ArDot will consider running a waterline from the public water system at either Hot Springs or Lonsdale, an expensive proposition.

Master Mahatma:

I bow at the foot of your column. We’ve had some pretty nasty thunderstorms where the visibility was so bad that I observed safety-minded folk pull over. Came down in buckets. My bone to pick is with those who have their wipers on but not their headlights. They want to see where they are going (good) but don’t care about being seen by others (bad). How do we get them to wake up and turn on their headlights when operating their windshield wipers? I know you know. —Aggravated and Agitated

Dear Agg and Ag: We know several things.

That a thunderstorm on our house this week strangled all the toads.

That state law says, dudes, when windshield wipers are on, lights must also be on. Not just daytime running lamps — the whole cannoli.

That this has been said here approximately 1.2 million times. So let it be written, so let it be done. That’s what pharaoh said to Moses in Ben-Hur, right after Moses came down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments of Safe Driving.

That these driving commandments will soon be inscribed on a monument at the state Capitol. (If only.)

That multiples of drivers still don’t turn on their headlights when wipers are on. What to do?

That the best solution is to have a Fabulous Babe, or Handsome Rascal, in the passenger seat reminding the driver to turn on those lights.

That for us, the Fabulous Babe System works every time.

Vanity plate seen around town: TOO FAB