Television
ABC Castaways series a tweak of familiar format.
Here’s a brilliant idea for a TV series: Let’s take a bunch of folks and strand them on deserted islands and see what happens.
Oh. Wait. Isn’t that the premise of Survivor, the show that’s been on the air since, like, forever?
And that’s also what happens on Alone and Naked and Afraid and Survivorman, Dual Survival, Man vs. Wild, Fat Guys in the Woods, and Man, Woman, Wild, and … you get the idea.
As I’ve written before, TV is nothing if not derivative. If one show works, let’s give ’em a dozen more.
The latest series in the survivor genre to hit the airwaves is Castaways, premiering at 9 p.m. today on ABC.
The network is boldly and hyperbolically claiming Castaways is “a revolutionary series testing the human need for companionship under extreme circumstances.”
I don’t know how revolutionary Castaways is, but it is a tweak on a familiar formula that begins with a nod to the 2000 hit film Cast Away starring Tom Hanks as a FedEx employee marooned on an uninhabited island following a plane crash. He must survive using his wits and the flotsam from the plane’s cargo.
Alas, Castaways has plenty of stuff “washed up” on the beaches, but no volleyball named Wilson.
The show’s opening tells us everything we need to know. Cue the dramatic music and the effusively melodramatic voice-over guy:
“A group of 12 strangers torn from their everyday lives are shipwrecked on a string of deserted islands in the South Pacific among washed up luggage, scattered resources and abandoned structures.
“Lost, stranded and alone, they’ve come here to push themselves to the limit. There are only two ways to escape the islands — survive until a rescue team arrives, or quit. These 12 castaways must decide. This is their story.”
That’s right. They are separated from one another and all alone — except for the small army of unseen production crewmen taking the beautiful nature footage showing just how alone they are.
The narration frequently waxes poetic as “the series flashes back to the real lives of each participant in documentary fashion, demonstrating haunting parallels to the lives they left behind.” Examples: “In the search for others, you may find yourself” and “Our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water.”
Here are the castaways: Angel Alvarenga, 20, immigrated to the United States at the age of 15 and yearns to help his brother back in Honduras.
Terry Allen, 62, longs for a sense of independence since she has long been the caregiver in her family.
Eric Brown, 31, is a Navy veteran in a recent interracial marriage that still may not be accepted by his wife’s family.
Sawyer Brown, 30, is a fitness devotee wanting to help those with substance-abuse issues and depression.
Tim Burke, 50, is a retired Green Beret who rescues young girls from sex-trafficking rings.
Robbie Gibbons, 42, is a morbidly obese 390-pound father of four out to change his life before he has a heart attack.
Reshanna Hearvy, 24, lives in a homeless shelter and hopes to reunite her family.
Matt Jaskol, 32, had to abandon his dream of racing cars to take over the family woodworking business.
Krichelle Kerbow, 25, longs to leave her old family life off the grid in Hawaii and see the world.
Richard Rogers, 35, yearns to make the transition from bachelor to husband and stepfather.
Kenzi Whittington, 24, wants to make it as a singer in Nashville, Tenn., but the demands keep sabotaging her personal relationships.
Tracee Wnetrzak, 41, is a self-described “super mom,” and the primary caretaker for five generations under one roof.
There you have it. And before you ask, yes, the series might also remind some of Lost, but nobody should think Gilligan’s Island.
Bachelor in Paradise. Season 5 smarms its way out at 7 p.m. today on ABC.
The network tells us that the barely clad “fan favorites” from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are ostensibly “back and ready for a second (or third) chance at finding love,” and “hoping to turn a potential summer fling into the real thing.”
Truth be told, they are all reality show junkies in it for the 15 minutes of fame and free margaritas.
Will they fall in love or be reintroduced to heartbreak? Do you really care?
CMA Fest 2018 airs at 7 p.m. Wednesday on ABC. It’s a three-hour special with cohosts Thomas Rhett and Kelsea Ballerini and 29 country music stars.
The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email: mstorey@arkansasonline.com