We all scream
In the We’re Not Kidding Dept.
WE IMAGINE it’s bloody difficult being a satirist for The Onion these days. Gone are the days when you could tell that stories like “Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence” or “ACLU Defends Nazis’ Right to Burn Down ACLU Headquarters” were supposed to be funny. These days, a click on a similar link might take you to a real news site.
In the press this week, there was a story—nonsatirical—about the proabortion types at NARAL.
You know NARAL. The acronym stands for something forgettable, but mostly it stands for abortion on demand. The brilliant PR folks at that outfit teamed up with an Oregon ice cream shop to sell abortion-inspired ice cream, with some of the proceeds to go to NARAL Pro-Choice Oregon.
One of the flavors is called Rocky Roe v. Wade.
If this was The Onion, we’d call to complain.
These folks just don’t get “unseemly,” do they? Just last week, Chelsea Clinton was at some pro-abortion event, giving a speech about the economic benefits of abortion. As if folks could be talked out of a moral stand on abortion if, say, the nation got 4 percent growth next year because of it. She grew up with “It’s the economy, stupid,” so maybe she really doesn’t understand when others have higher purposes. And now here comes NARAL with its ice cream fundraising campaign.
What a country. NARAL is free to fund-raise (mostly) the way it wants. But ice cream is sort of innocent, isn’t it? And did anybody at NARAL headquarters perhaps mention that giving ice cream flavors names with abortion themes might be just a little improper, or at least indecorous? There are a good many Americans who don’t believe abortion is just the removal of an unwanted growth, like a skin tag, but the taking of human life. They pray about it. They cry about it. They spend their lives opposing it.
We’re not so pure as to oppose a good time. What did Baron Macaulay say about the Puritans? They hated bear baiting, “not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.” But it would seem that abortion is one of those few subjects in American culture, or any culture, that doesn’t really lend itself to comedy. On this subject anyway, the Puritans would understand. And excel.
This being 2018, the folks at NARAL tweeted about their new campaign: “Order yours now & help defend reproductive freedom!” Maybe we’ll wait a few weeks to see if they come up with a buy one abortion, get one free promotion.
When this campaign ends, perhaps NARAL will find another way to sell its deadly product. Focusing on the same demographics, of course.
Next time, maybe they’ll go with Gummi Bears.