Golf balls veer out of their lanes

Dear Mahatma: Along Markham Street next to War Memorial Golf Course there is a sign which tells drivers to “Watch for errant golf balls.” If we see an errant golf ball, what are we to do? Admonish it to cease being errant and return to the course? — Fore!

Dear Fore: Our first stop was to the city’s traffic engineers. Nat Banihatti said that office had been directed by the city attorney’s office to put up this sign to let drivers know they’re in the vicinity of a golf course.

Our next stop was with City Attorney Tom Carpenter. He is a nice man and learned in the law. So learned, that when he started to talk about local governments and their immunity to lawsuits, we started thinking about the state Supreme Court and its rulings on the state’s sovereign immunity.

At this point, our eyes rolled back in our head and we became faint.

Suffice for the city attorney to say some signage was needed to make people aware of the possibility of errant golf balls.

Fair enough, in our mind. Now to the more important part. What to say to errant golf balls?

Having hit many errant golf balls, we believe admonishing, encouraging or imploring them to go straight is a waste of breath. In fact, we personally have hit a golf ball onto Markham Street. No matter what we said, no matter how impassioned our plea, that thing bounced into the street and by a miracle hit not a single car.

Oh Asphalt Answerer: In the old days there were indeed many road signs with “Walk on the left facing traffic” stenciled on the back. I think of them often because no one observes that rule anymore.

I often encounter pedestrians wearing out shoe leather on the right shoulder, wearing dark clothes and fiddlin’ with a cellphone. — Kent

Dear Kent: You refer to a recent column in which folks recalled such signs, but which have disappeared into the mists of traffic engineering.

So this is a good time to remind everyone that common sense and safety requires pedestrians to walk on the side of the road facing traffic. This gives both walker and driver the chance to see each other and act accordingly.

We encountered two safe pedestrians the other day, or rather at night. They faced traffic and had reflectors fixed to the front of their pants. They could be seen a block away.

Dear Mahatma: I read about Non-Cycler Bill in your column. He doesn’t like having to pay for bike trails and lanes when he doesn’t use them. A more complete answer from you might have said that bicyclists already help pay for bike trails and lanes when they pay taxes. If bicyclists own cars, they pay gasoline taxes which help pay for Bill’s roads. — Barry

Barry: We acknowledge our musings are often confused and lame. And that our many readers offer many perspectives.

Vanity plate: LUDDITE