Dead editorials
And other travesties of the biz
OH, IT was so close. All we had to do was pull out Editorial No. 44, which we keep in a file in the desk. It’s about the FOI law in Arkansas, and how transparent it makes government in this state. And how it keeps the public involved in public business. No. 44 is an easy write because it’s already written, with spaces left here and there to fill in—once the editorialist knows which agency is out of compliance.
Editorial No. 44 also has the extra added bonus of having its headline already set in type: “Attention Should Be Paid.” Oh, the sonorous and majestic phrases that parade across the copy, complete with John Philip Sousa furnishing the background music: Transparency in government! The public’s right to know! We the People!
Nobody actually reads Editorial No. 44, of course, but it comes in handy in a pinch. Every time we pull out this particular template of awful prose, we want to post a warning to everybody: Please do not read! For contest purposes only!
Thursday’s paper—on the front page no less—held a story that lent itself just perfectly to Editorial No. 44. It seems the Little Rock Civil Service Commission voted to ban photo, video and audio recordings of certain of its meetings. Which went against experts on the Freedom of Information laws in this state, AG opinions, precedent, the law and the wishes of inky wretches blistering the land.
We had ‘em now! That is, the editorial “we.”
Quick as a mule, we pulled out Editorial No. 44 and began filling in the spaces.
But it turns out that the city’s leadership has no sense of timing, nor does it have any sympathy for editorialists on deadline. Early Thursday afternoon, after this page was set, word came that the city attorney had interrupted the latest commission meeting, and told all
within hearing that the ban on recording was off.
It was as if an Occult Hand had waved, beckoning the commission to follow the law. We don’t know this, but we suspect that the new mayor had something to do with the change in legal direction. He campaigned on transparency in government.
Watching an editorial shrivel, die and decay is a horrible thing. It’s even worse if it’s already on the page and proofread by copy editors.
How dare Little Rock’s leaders do the right thing and correct the Civil Service Commission before the newspaper editorializes about it? Do you know that could’ve cost us a APA award?
AND NOT just editorial pages are heartbroken over all this (strangely quick) good government. Imagine the faces of all those poor lawyers who were getting ready to prep for another unending lawsuit. Maybe even the Holy Grail of lawsuits, like another of the Jarndyce v. Jarndyce variety!
The phrase “To the briefs, boys!” was still hanging in the air over downtown Little Rock when the devastating news came. Apparently the lawyers for Little Rock’s government don’t understand the phrase “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Everybody’s salaried, right? Or is it a Contingency Basis these days?
Our (ruinous) loss is Little Rock’s gain: Editorial No. 44 will have to be refiled in the desk drawer, but the voting public and taxpayers of the capital city come out ahead. And they have reason to be hopeful for the future. The current and still-new mayor campaigned on transparency in government and— mirabile dictu—he apparently meant it. We’ll just have to settle for this replacement editorial. But at least we get the chance to use the phrase mirabile dictu.
We suppose we will survive. That is, the editorial “we.”