To thrive, let it go
The windshield reflected several white highway crosses as I sped down I-40 recently. It seems as if the crosses have multiplied lately, as if they’ve been growing alongside the winter grass and tangling vines. They’re easy to notice. They cause one to pause because each cross marks reverberating loss.
Highway crosses materialize in the periphery but seem to linger in the collective consciousness. Seeing them standing still in stark contrast to the fast moving traffic on the interstate brings one to consider how life is, how life moves through time.
Three years ago this week, I began writing this column for the newspaper. I’m thankful that editor Brenda Looper and the powers-thatbe at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette continue to entertain my submissions and provide a little space.
Twice a month I send my column to Brenda via email, usually under the subject heading of “This week’s attempt” or “Another effort.” So far, she’s refrained from comment.
The inaugural column underscored and explained what living a strenuous life means. Though the word strenuous has some negative connotations (tiresome is a synonym) the word, at its core, means requiring or using great exertion. Its root is the Latin “strenuus,” meaning brisk.
Though I’m certain reading this column often feels tiresome for many of you, strenuous has another synonym: spirited. That was the intent of the Theodore Roosevelt speech I quoted three years ago that heralds living a strenuous life. In the speech, Roosevelt advocated spending one’s days filled with vigor and passion, living in a way that avoids “the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” In short, approach setbacks like the imposters they are. Embrace success with grace and dignity. Thrive.
As 2021 dawns, it’s apparent we get the great chance to thrive again. In the next few months, covid vaccines will make their rounds and the world will become unhushed once more. Here we are on the cusp of great change.
Now, the important question becomes one of what to do with our regained freedom.
Falling into a patterned life is counter to the idea of living strenuously. Certainly, we have necessary paths that are worn heavy with our footprints: We awaken, go to work or school, prepare the home for the family, go to sleep, start over. But within those ticking moments of the day, there’s opportunity after opportunity to live strenuously, to embrace a spirited life.
The 75 columns I’ve written over the last three years have centered on the human experience. Instead of tackling politics and religion, the columns have focused on our simple day-to-day engagements that, once we articulate them, become profound within us. We all have those moments where life is interpreted loud and clear in front of us. We have those moments where our focus is crystal clear and our understanding sublime. Mostly, we let those moments pass. Occasionally, we reach out and grasp them. We allow ourselves to be moved, to change. We give ourselves permission to thrive.
Thriving means that one’s work ethic should exceed one’s ability, no matter how gifted or how smart we think we are—or aren’t. This is the great equalizer in life. For those we can’t out-think, we can always, always, always out-work.
Thriving is vowing never to be a bystander. This phrase—never be a bystander—lifted from the walls of the Holocaust Memorial in Washington, D.C., speaks about more than just obvious evil. These words speak to the absolute necessity of engaging in one’s life. Sidelining ourselves to lesser things takes a toll on our character. We can’t just let days slip away silently, without acknowledgment.
Thriving is filling each of our waking moments with our integrity on full display. It’s making sure that though we disagree, we still retain the ability to recognize the intrinsic goodness and honor housed within one another.
Highway crosses stand with sun-bleached barns and lush soybean fields in the background. They stand silently marking the instant where tragedy occurred. But they’re healthy memorials. Imagine the emotional release of those who stationed them. Imagine the crosses as the first step in letting go, in ultimately finding peace. The very act of planting a highway cross likely at least started the long journey to healing.
Likewise, as 2021 begins, it’s time to erect our own highway crosses to the previous year. It’s easy to hold on to mistakes and shortcomings. It’s easy to simmer in the pain caused by others. But it’s time to free those troubling things, those regrets that sting us in the night, those anxieties that come to us like boxes of knives in our vulnerable moments. It’s time we mark them. Plant them. And then, move forward.
“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed,” Theodore Roosevelt said in his Strenuous Life speech. Armed with a strong work ethic, with a vow never to be a bystander, with integrity on full display, we march forward into the new year. Soon, everything will become normal again. Or, everything can be infinitely better.
It all comes down to our willingness to thrive.