With respect

Solutions lie in common ground

What do Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandala, Mother Teresa, and Jesus have in common? Gandhi, known for his peaceful approach, gained independence for India with his message of nonviolent resistance. Nelson Mandela fought against apartheid in South Africa, and despite being imprisoned for 27 years, he emerged with a message of forgiveness and unity. Mother Teresa showed immense love and respect for every person she encountered, regardless of their background or circumstances. Jesus espoused love and forgiveness as his central message, resulting in Christianity, one of the world’s great religions.

They all succeeded despite strong adversity and resistance because their civil treatment of others earned admiration and support in their persistent pursuit of their goal, not because of loudly and aggressively trying to impose their goals on enemies. Remember, the tortoise beat the hare in the race because he was quietly persistent.

Such positive, peaceful approaches are increasingly rarely seen in our political conversations. As the United States becomes intensely polarized along political lines, it has become more difficult for people to have civil conversations about important issues. Instead, we see more name-calling, insults, and even threats of violence. We seem determined to win the argument or “own” the other side with a loud, confrontational, and aggressive response.

This is not only harmful to our democracy, but also to our individual and societal well-being. The other main response is to withdraw and avoid talking politics at all. Yet civil conversation is essential for a healthy democracy. When people talk to each other respectfully, even when they disagree, they are more likely to find common ground and work together to solve problems.

Braver Angels (BA) is a nonpartisan organization with members from all across the political spectrum who seek to bridge the partisan divide and promote civil conversation. We encounter some skepticism about our philosophy of promoting respectful, productive conversations, because of the mistaken belief that such an approach only works if you are moderate politically or that this approach allows the more aggressive person to “win” a discussion. Some think that to be respectful is to treat all viewpoints equally, declining to advocate for a particular political viewpoint, candidate, or policy.

None of this is true; partisanship is not precluded in Braver Angel’s approach. While our leaders cannot in their official capacity take positions or advocate for or against specific parties, candidates, or policies, most BA members have strong political beliefs that they may share with others. Many are active in their private lives advocating for specific candidates or policies.

This “civil communication” approach is effective, more so than aggressive communication that alienates others. In a recent study, participants in Braver Angels programs reported feeling more understanding of people with different political views and more hopeful about the future of our country.

Strong evidence also exists for the effectiveness of using sound relationship-developing techniques in many areas. Therapists use and teach such skills to help couples or families improve their relationships. Hostage-negotiation experts use similar skills because they are more effective in securing a peaceful outcome than aggressive demands. Evidence also shows that interrogation of terror suspects is more effective through relationship-building techniques than with torture or force.

So, do you have strong partisan beliefs and want to make a difference? Do you fear that the fate of our country depends on who prevails in the next election? Then understand that helping your country survive and thrive doesn’t require you to be louder or more hostile than your opponent.

Resist this emotionally based response of aggression or demonization of the other and. instead, respectfully engage with others. Finding common ground through good-faith exchanges is more important than “winning” the political argument. This approach can lead to a more informed and engaged electorate, and ultimately to better policy decisions. It may not help with extremists on either side, but most of us within the middle two-thirds of political views will respond to this measured approach.

Braver Angels works toward civic renewal in America through skills workshops and facilitated conversations across the political divide, with a goal of helping participants understand each other’s perspectives and finding common ground. We believe that Americans must work together to get things done, despite disagreements on specific approaches. We can each be passionate in our advocacy, but following the BA philosophy means to practice good communication and conflict resolution skills, listen with genuine curiosity, and remain civil in asserting our views.

To make progress in our democratic republic, it is essential that we treat each other with respect.

Glen White and David Childs are state co-coordinators for Braver Angels-Arkansas. To learn more or to help in their mission, contact Glen White at gwhite@braverangels.org or David Childs at dchilds@braverangels.org, or visit the Arkansas alliance website at arkansas.braverangels.org.