Buddy-buddy honeymoons are now all the rage

Ah, the honeymoon, traditionally imagined as a lavender haze of candlelit dinners for two, beds adorned with fragrant rose petals, and bungalows perched over crystal-clear waters. Romantic, sure, but for some newlyweds, so passé.

With many couples marrying older and often living together first, post-wedding travels have become more of an opportunity to discover a destination with friends, “as opposed to discovering each other,” said Irene Levine, a psychologist and travel writer based in Pleasantville, N.Y.

Enter the buddymoon, a trend that’s gaining visibility on Instagram and TikTok. Hannah Godwin, 28, and Dylan Barbour, 29, social media influencers who met on the TV show “Bachelor in Paradise,” opted for a buddymoon after their wedding in Condécourt, France, in August. The couple, who have lived together since 2020, had already taken solo vacations. They considered their trip to the Greek island of Mykonos with 13 friends a rare opportunity.

For those also interested in a honeymoon with a little company, here is a starter guide to help you plan.

Q Where should we plan our buddymoon?

A There are advantages to choosing a spot near your wedding. It could help you and your friends save on flights and even hotel costs, said Priya Malani, the CEO and a founder of Stash Wealth, a millennial-focused financial planning service in New York.

“Since we were already having a destination wedding, we thought, ‘Well, if all of our closest friends are already in Europe, why not keep the party going?’” Godwin said.

Next, you’ll need to decide what kind of trip you want to have: Do you want to lounge at the beach? Explore a city? Hike all day?

Victoria Mottola, 32, a pharmacist, and Manny Fuente, 34, a lawyer, wanted a little bit of everything for their 25-person Mallorca, Spain, buddymoon in October. After their wedding in Toledo, Spain, the Miami-based couple picked the neighboring island because of its history and its access to bars, boats and beach clubs.

It was a different story for Kresson Taylor, 25, a Montessori teacher and content creator from Muskoka, Ontario, who planned her Nova Scotia and New Brunswick buddymoon with her husband, Casey Van Erp, 27, a carpenter, in September with six friends. “For us personally, it was really adventure based,” she said. “Park, park, hike, mountain, no sleep.”

Q Our friends are from different parts of our lives. How do we make it not awkward?

A Just like marriage, communication is key. “Find a way for them to meet or talk ahead of time about what kind of expectations they have for this trip,” said Jaime Kurtz, a psychology professor at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Va.

Kurtz recommended planning an event early in the trip “where there’s room for trying something new,” like wine tasting or cooking classes, which would help to create a shared experience for bonding.

Q We’ve broken the ice. Now what?

A Leonidas Andreadis, the founder of Live & Travel Greece, recommended group activities such as boat excursions, rafting or paintball. For a less physical outing, he suggested touring vineyards or bakeries or trying extra-large games like Giant Jenga.

Q What about accommodations?

A Godwin and Barbour shared a house with their friends, providing them with valuable down time. “Some of my favorite parts were late at night, all just hanging out together at the house,” she said.

Taylor and Van Erp also opted for a shared space via Airbnb, while Mottola and Fuente were grateful to have some separation, with friends at three different hotels.

Q So who pays?

A Couples should make sure they communicate this ahead of time. “It’s important that everyone has some idea of what the costs will be and if any of them will be covered by the couple,” said Levine, the psychologist and travel writer.

For Godwin and Barbour, guests agreed to split the costs of everything from housing to dinners.

Malani had some tips to save money with a big group: “Secure bulk discounts,” she said.

Q Is it rude if we request some alone time?

A Not at all.

“Yes, you’re there to travel with your friends,” said Michael Bennett, a founder of Explorer X, a travel agency in Seattle. “But it’s also going to be important to do some of your own things.”

Q This sounds like a lot to plan.

A Bennett suggested choosing maybe just one or two activities. “Nobody wants to come home and say ‘I need a vacation from my vacation,’” he said.

Bennett emphasized having an outline for activities, but also noted that the best part of travel is often the “spontaneous experiences that happen along the way.”

Mottola, who only planned two group activities across four days — a dinner and a catamaran ride — agreed. “Your friends will want to explore and relax on their own time,” she said. “They’re on vacation, too.”

Her advice: Don’t seek opinions. “I know this sounds harsh,” she said, “but it can get complicated if 25 people are all putting their two cents in.”