Arkansas subject of multiple surveys
Arkansas continues to distinguish itself in various ways — from troubling to depressing (which, sadly, we’re used to) to what-the-hecking, to occasionally smile inducing — in various polls, surveys and studies about which we journalists are bombarded with news-release emails.
The paper’s email server appears to have a healthy disdain for such releases, assigning them to my Junk folder. But then this server takes no prisoners: Democrat-Gazette story newsletters are also, for whatever reason, relegated to this same folder. Needless to say, I go through my Junk folder carefully to see what I might be missing were I to simply mass-delete its contents sight unseen. Mailbox server, how dare you try to make me miss the news that the “Razorback Red Berry Fizz” was voted Arkansas’ unofficial State Mocktail in a poll by behavioral health treatment network Zinnia Health (zinniahealth.com)?
Here are a few of the not-so-good polls/surveys/studies in which the Natural State (usually along with other Deep-South states) made its mark, according to these e-releases.
■ “Arkansas is the second-most stressed state, based on rates of frequent mental and physical stress,” beaten out only by West Virginia. The study was conducted by Onyx Behavioral Health (onyxbh.com). As someone who deals with stress on multiple fronts, my prayers go out to all fellow Arkies who are “going through.” The least stressed state? Hawaii. Guess those high costs of living don’t phase Aloha Staters.
■ Arkansas ranks fourth among the states with the “lowest demand for tech workers,” according to research conducted by devrev.ai. Here we go with the Deep South downer stats: Mississippi has the least such vacancies, with Louisiana coming in second. But from there the research goes left: Coming in third is … New York? Oooookaaaay. Well hey, at least this must mean we right-brained Arkies have a bigger chance of getting a job, correct? And that there will be fewer people to invent robots and cyber-thingies that will take over and enslave us? Er, trying to be positive here?
Regular readers are well used to my rants against bad Arkansas driving, and a couple of studies back me up, unfortunately:
■ “New analysis has identified the states with the highest percentage of fatal nighttime crashes, with Arkansas showing 46.25% of total fatal crashes happening at night,” according to a study conducted by Omega Law Group (omegalaw.com), which used data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. I reached the Age
of Hating Driving at Night (along with the Age of Hating Driving on Freeways) a while back, and as someone who nonetheless must drive at night in my “other” Democrat-Gazette job as society reporter, this finding is sobering to say the least.
■ And Baderscott.com “conducted a thorough analysis and found that Arkansas ranked third as one of the most dangerous states for driving in the US [um, period] in 2024.” Our dangerous-driving sister states are Mississippi and Wyoming.
■ We def didn’t make this Top 10 list: the top 10 states with the best roads. According to munley.com, Idaho, Georgia, Tennessee, North Dakota, Nebraska and Wyoming are on the good-roads states, as are Kentucky, Alabama, Montana and Oregon. But at least we weren’t on the “worst” list, which is topped by New Jersey and includes Mississippi. As we try to dodge the pot craters, cracks and mini-canyons (including those that were patched after that snowstorm a while back but have already reopened), we can mutter to ourselves that it could be worse.
Other downers: We supposedly have the fourth worst quality of life in America, according to visiolendingcom; the third smallest percentage of a state population with a bachelor’s degree or higher, according to essayservice.com (so much for qualifying for those few tech jobs but does that at least mean less student loan debt?) and we lost $40.2 million we didn’t have to fraud in 2023, according to qrfy.com.
A couple of not-depressing findings concerning Arkansas:
■ The print dress is the most popular summer dress in these here parts (I see you rolling your eyes, fellas). Print dresses are favored by wearers in most states, followed by black summer frocks and blue summer frocks, according to fashion e-etailer boohoo.com. Well, no big mystery as to why, as any gal who has depended on print clothing to disguise/draw attention away from pot bellies and cellulite will tell you. Look, a flowerdy frock is the best thing to opt for to keep from suffocating in Spanx on a hot day!
■ Another eye-roll for the fellas: Louis Vuitton is the designer fashion brand in which Arkansans are “most interested,” according to a study by Chummy Tees (chummytees.com), a T-shirt purveyor. “It turns out Louis Vuitton is the label most likely to be spotted on the streets this year in Arkansas, as it is by far the most searched for, averaging a whopping 14,283 searches per month … .” The Top 10 of thought-about designer brands also includes such familiar icons as Michael Kors, Coach, Gucci, Dior and Chanel. Had they asked folks whose tastes run similar to those of the Talkmistress, this list would have read something like (making these up) KunFoundy, CooChik, WeWaka — the weirdly-named brands one finds among sellers of any non-matronly, Queen-size-friendly clothing sellers on Amazon — and the smattering of tasteful women’s clothing items at Fashion Nova that won’t draw arrest for indecent exposure.
■ Arkansans would travel an hour 20 minutes for a slice of … possum pie? Mixbook.com, which came up with the findings, assures anyone here who hasn’t heard of this delicacy that no innocent possums are sacrificed for this pie, which involves a flaky crust, cream cheese, a layer of pudding, then whipped cream and “a sprinkle of nuts.” Some other notable findings: Arkansas residents are less interested in real estate investment than the average U.S. resident, says agentadvice.com (hey, we gotta eat; we’ll leave real-estate investment to the Marrses); the state’s most popular TV couple are Beth and Rip on “Yellowstone” (who?), according to nodeposit365.com.
The former set of findings are enough to make an Arkie body have an inferiority complex or wonder if these surveys are just modern, mean ways of perpetuating Arkansas stereotypes of the Jeff Foxworthy joke variety and casting the state as dangerous to boot. But no one need get it twisted: Unfortunately, there are enough negative statistics and findings to blanket every state in the Union. And fortunately, enough positive ones exist (even in this day and time) to merit a few more verses of “America, the Beautiful” … and enough “what the heck? Who knew?” ones to add a little spice to life.