At what cost?

After a legislative audit investigation lasting at least five months, Arkansans may soon learn the story behind that customized, space-aged lectern initially purchased in June by Gov. Sarah Sanders’ office and later reimbursed by the state’s GOP.

A news story by Neal Earley reported Legislative Auditor Roger Norman said the vigilant investigators are nearly done delving into the purchase of the much-ballyhooed $19,000 Falcon lectern.

I must say the photographs of this polished wood-and-metal stand that sits on a square pedestal and gracefully flares upward to a thick lectern top are indeed impressive as lecterns go. But worth as much as a small car?

The 39-inch lectern with travel case was purchased from Beckett Events LLC, an events management firm in Arlington, Va.

The governor’s office used a state credit card to purchase the beauty, but said state taxpayers didn’t wind up footing the bill when the Republican Party of Arkansas reimbursed the state.

“But State Sen. Jimmy Hickey, R-Texarkana, said since the governor’s office used a state credit card to make the initial purchase, an investigation was needed, and requested legislative auditors look into it,” Earley wrote.

The governor’s office has steadfastly denied any wrongdoing.

I suppose there was no real urgency to completing the investigation or money to be recovered, which I assume involved more than one auditor and reportedly was delayed in its work by “holidays and inclement weather.”

If Mike, the wannabe rookie state auditor, had decided to dig into the lectern purchase, I kinda doubt it would have taken me over five months. It might have gone something like this:

“Hello, I’m looking for Mr. Rumple Stiltskin, the accountant at Beckett Events?”

“You’ve got him.”

“Mr Stiltskin, I’m an auditor with the state of Arkansas and we are requesting to be faxed or mailed every piece of information you have related to the sale last summer of a 39-inch Falcon lectern to the Arkansas governor’s office.

“And would you please ask your owner, who I’ve been unable to reach by phone, to call and explain or email me concerning what, if any relationship or friendship they might have had in previous years with our governor?

“Finally, what, if any, written, telephonic or in-person conversations they might have had with the governor about purchasing this particular lectern and whether their previous relationship played any role in the decision to purchase it from your company? I need the information by tomorrow afternoon.

“Please confirm you’ve passed that along. The alternative would be for me to fly to Virginia with a state’s attorney for a personal interview.”

Stiltskin: “I’ll fax those records within the hour and make sure the owner gets your message.”

Wait just a minute here. Before I move on, the newfound auditor within seems to suddenly have possessed me. I just realized, depending on how many state auditors were involved in at least five months of political investigation (at an average compensation of $49,000 a year), taxpayers would probably have paid one auditor more than the lectern cost the Republican Party.

Hmm, believe I’m gonna have to reckon on this a spell.

Of course this is just a make-believe column. I mean, shoot fahr, I’m just a lowly newspaper wretch from little ol’ Arkansas who made a C in algebra.

MONEY FOR US

I did a double-take take last week when Entergy Arkansas announced it was lowering our residential electric bills for the first time in a long while. How many years has it been since any of us had seen that kind of welcome headline?

But it’s true. We can expect monthly bills to drop beginning in April.

Entergy says the average residential customer using 1,000 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per month will see a decrease of $10.01 in their bills, or a 7.49 percent decrease. Meanwhile, commercial and industrial customers could see anywhere from a 1.6 to 17.7 percent decrease, depending on their usage profile.

“Although our rates are consistently lower than the regional and national average, we continue to keep affordability for our customers at the forefront of our decisions,” said Ventrell Thompson, vice president of Customer Service. “The total decrease customers see on their bills will vary based on their individual energy usage but comes at a time when our customers need bill relief and will extend during the upcoming hot summer months.”

The lowest fuel rate in more than a decade reportedly prompted the decrease. This is a continuing cycle. Each year, the fuel rate adjusts up or down, depending on changes in the cost of fuel Entergy uses to generate electricity and the wholesale prices paid for additional electricity.

So while the price of eggs, milk and bread might be steadily climbing and gas remains more than $3 a gallon, it’s nice to see even the smallest relief from a wholly unexpected source.

Now go out into the world and treat everyone you meet exactly like you want them to treat you.