Ex-hus­band stays on guest list of woman’s par­ents

Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN360 DAILY - Dear Abby Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby ap­pears on Sun­day, Mon­day, Wed­nes­day and Fri­day. Email Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com. CONTRIBUTED

Dear Abby: My di­vorce from “Vince” will be fi­nal in a few weeks. We have two sons to­gether and we com­mu­ni­cate well. Since our breakup, my par­ents have con­tin­ued their re­la­tion­ship with him. They say, “You di­vorced him; we didn’t.”

They have con­firmed that he will be in­vited to all hol­i­day events. I am so up­set about it that I now want noth­ing to do with them. Vince has his own fam­ily who have unan­i­mously re­moved me from their lives.

I’m hurt by my par­ents’ ac­tions. Am I wrong? And are my feel­ings nor­mal? — Lost My Par­ents in The Di­vorce in Cal­i­for­nia

Dear Lost: As the fa­ther of your chil­dren, Vince will al­ways be a part of your life, so my ad­vice is to ac­cept it gra­ciously. Be­cause Vince had a good re­la­tion­ship with your par­ents, I can un­der­stand why they would ex­tend an in­vi­ta­tion to the fa­ther of their grand­chil­dren. Whether he will choose to ac­cept is the ques­tion. His fam­ily may have de­clared you per­sona non grata be­cause in their eyes you di­vorced him.

That said, your feel­ings are your feel­ings. Rather than say they are “wrong,” I would point out that they are un­pro­duc­tive at this point. As you move for­ward with your emo­tional life, I pre­dict this will be­come less of an is­sue.

Dear Abby: I am a 50year-old di­vorced man. I use an on­line dat­ing ser­vice to meet women my age, but I’m ex­tremely frus­trated by the lack of courtesy.

Why is it so hard for a woman to sim­ply write, “Thanks, but I’m not in­ter­ested” af­ter get­ting a note of in­quiry? My pho­tos are re­cent, I’m po­lite, and I send thought­ful notes that show I have read their pro­files care­fully and think there’s a chance we have some­thing in com­mon. I ad­mit, I’m not the hand­somest man, but I hold a master’s de­gree and I am fi­nan­cially sta­ble.

I have sent a dozen notes over the last few months, and not one woman has been po­lite enough to re­spond. Any thoughts? — Date­less in Day­ton

Dear Date­less: Please don’t let the lack of re­sponse make you quit putting your­self out there, be­cause even­tu­ally you’re go­ing to find some­one if you keep try­ing. You are an in­tel­li­gent man, and I am sure you have much to of­fer some lucky woman.

How­ever, I would del­i­cately point out to you that by not re­spond­ing to your notes th­ese women are send­ing you a mes­sage. It is pos­si­ble that be­cause the “chem­istry” is wrong, they do not wish to get into a di­a­logue.

Dear Abby: I’m a 17year-old girl, and ev­ery time I meet peo­ple, they think I am 12. How do I look more my age? Please help me. — Honey in Ge­or­gia

Dear Honey: A way to ac­com­plish it would be to go to a de­part­ment store and ask at the cos­met­ics counter about a demon­stra­tion makeover to achieve a more so­phis­ti­cated look. While you’re there, I’m sure a cloth­ing sales­per­son also would be happy to ac­com­mo­date you in find­ing items that girls your age are buy­ing. A dif­fer­ent hair­style could also “up­date” your im­age if you are wear­ing it the way you did a few years ago.

P.S. While you may not think it now, later on you will re­gard your youth­ful ap­pear­ance as an as­set. Trust me on that!

Pack of Wolves, along with Trey Ramirez (sec­ond from left) will per­form at to­day’s “Party at the End of the World” at Red.

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