It’s a fetish, not pornog­ra­phy; buy wife lip­stick

Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN360 DAILY - Dear Abby Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby ap­pears on Sun­day, Mon­day, Wed­nes­day and Fri­day. Email Dear Abby at

Dear Abby : Please help save my mar­riage. My wife of five years dis­cov­ered an In­ter­net browser his­tory of 13 Web pages I had clicked on the pre­vi­ous day. The pages were of women’s sexy lips. My wife is call­ing it “porn” and a “gate­way to porn.” I feel guilty about it, but I told her it isn’t pornog­ra­phy. I think it’s a fetish. She says I’m us­ing that word to get off the hook.

Will you please tell her that this prob­a­bly is a fetish? Our sex life has not been the same since she dis­cov­ered the im­ages on the com­puter. What can we do about it in a way that will strengthen our mar­riage?

— Not Guilty as Charged

Dear Not Guilty: It’s a shame you and your wife hadn’t dis­cussed what turns you on be­fore she checked your browser his­tory. A fetish is any ob­ject that turns some­one on, and it can range from large breasts, to stiletto heels, to leather or rub­ber items of cloth­ing, to full red lips. It is NOT pornog­ra­phy.

A way to strengthen your mar­riage would be for you to buy her a tube of bright red lip­stick. And a way for her to im­prove your sex life would be to put it on.

Dear Abby: I’m a 13year-old girl with a sis­ter and a brother. I was re­cently told by my dad that I have to teach my brother how to read, but the prob­lem is he has a learn­ing dis­abil­ity and a be­hav­ior dis­or­der. I don’t know how I’m sup­posed to teach him to read, and it scares me.

On top of that, my dad got mad at my sis­ter and me and said that when we were younger we were just like my brother, only worse. He said he was close to giv­ing up on us. Some­times Dad says we’re worth­less, stupid and asks why we’re even in this world. He says we’re not good for any­thing.

I have a slight form of autism, so I’m sort of slow do­ing cer­tain things other kids do at my age. I feel like I’ll never be as smart as any­one else, and I have no clue how I’m go­ing to teach my dis­abled brother to read. Help!

— Lost, Alone and Wor­ried in Ur­bana, Ill.

Dear Lost: It would be won­der­ful if you could teach your learn­ing dis­abled brother how to read, but you are not equipped to do that. Your brother should be in a spe­cial ed­u­ca­tion class with a teacher who has the spe­cial­ized train­ing — and, pos­si­bly, a tu­tor.

You are nei­ther worth­less nor stupid. You are an in­tel­li­gent girl. Frankly, your fa­ther ap­pears to be in need of some help, and I hope you will share with a coun­selor at your school what you have told me.

Dear Abby: My 13year-old son is re­fus­ing to wear a bi­cy­cle hel­met be­cause he has de­cided it’s “un­cool.” My hus­band and I have al­ways worn them, but here in Texas many peo­ple don’t. There’s no state law re­quir­ing it.

I know how dev­as­tat­ing the ef­fects of a head in­jury can be and I want to pre­vent my son from get­ting one. How can I help my teenager see that pro­tect­ing his brain is more im­por­tant than look­ing “cool” to his friends who don’t wear them? My son in­sists I am ... an over­pro­tec­tive mom.

Dear Over­pro­tec­tive Mom: Con­tact your son’s pe­di­a­tri­cian and ask if he or she can fa­cil­i­tate a tour of a re­ha­bil­i­ta­tion fa­cil­ity that treats peo­ple with trau­matic brain in­juries. If that doesn’t con­vince your son, noth­ing will.

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