Hootie Awards: We re­cap the year in sports stu­pid­ity

To­day, the Hootie Awards mark their 10th birth­day. They’ll prob­a­bly cel­e­brate by do­ing some­thing stupid and get­ting ar­rested. Af­ter all, that’s what the Hooties are all about.

Austin American-Statesman - - FRONT PAGE - — John Bridges All of this year’s hon­orees, Lance Arm­strong suf­fered a fall from grace this year, the re­sult of dop­ing ac­cu­sa­tions. DEB­O­RAH CAN­NON / 2008 AMER­I­CAN-STATES­MAN

For

one glo­ri­ous decade, we’ve been com­pil­ing each year’s weird­est, wack­i­est and sil­li­est sports sto­ries and giv­ing them a fig­u­ra­tive tro­phy named in honor of Wil­liam “Hootie” John­son, the former head of the golf club that hosts the Masters.

What did Hootie ever do to us to de­serve this honor? Noth­ing really.

But un­for­tu­nately for Mr. John­son, he hap­pened to dom­i­nate the off-the-field sports head­lines for a stretch of 2002, the first year for our lit­tle awards — some­thing about not let­ting women join the club. Oh, and he also hap- pened to have the nick­name Hootie.

Af­ter those in­au­gu­ral Hootie Awards, the Au­gusta Na­tional Golf Club wrote us a cease­and-de­sist let­ter about our mis­use of Hootie’s name. We re­sisted and still haven’t ceased. (In­ter­est­ingly, the club this year re­versed course and ad­mit­ted its first fe­male mem­bers.

Per­haps the Hooties had some­thing to do with that. You’re wel­come, Con­doleeza Rice.

And so, to­day we present the 2012 Hootie Awards. As al­ways, there are no win­ners, only losers.

We give spe­cial recog­ni­tion this year to Austin’s own Lance Arm­strong. He still hasn’t ad­mit­ted any­thing, but a ver­i­ta­ble Alpe d’Huez of ev­i­dence points to him be­ing the big­gest dope of the year.

It’s just too bad that he doesn’t have a nick­name as catchy as Hootie.

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