CAROLYN HAX

DEAR CAROLYN: My 8-year-old son recently told me he didn’t want to go to his cousins’ house. They are 11 and 12. He said they tickle-tortured him. They told him to lie down to do a trick, then one lifted up his shirt and held him while the other one “tickled the heck out of me,” according to him. Another time, they pried his socks off and tickled him again. He wet his pants because of this.

How should I handle this? Should I tell him to toughen up and deal with it?

— Too Far?

Sweet baby deity, no. Never push a kid to submit to unwelcome touching, under any circumstances.

Thank him for telling you. Tell him what his cousins did isn’t OK, even if they insist they were just being silly; laughter can be involuntary so it doesn’t count as consent. There’s nothing silly about restraining someone, or causing discomfort and such extreme humiliation.

Assu rehimit’s OK for him to choose not to be alone with these cousins or anyone else who bullies this way, and to say no to suspicious invitations, and to fight back in his own defense. Assure him you will back him on this and intervene on his behalf whenever needed, including to make sure you don’t put him in this position again.

You also need to tell these kids’ parents what happened, so the parents can address their taste for power-tripping. If I heard my kids were doing this, I would start some serious intervention.