Woman weighs get­ting in­volved in case of abuse

Austin American-Statesman - - THE PLANNER - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I have al­ways tried to be a com­pas­sion­ate per­son. I have ex­pe­ri­enced a lot of abuse, and I’m sen­si­tive to oth­ers who go through it. A man across the street from me has been ar­rested three times in the last six months for do­mes­tic abuse. I rarely see a woman there, so I don’t know if the vic­tim is a woman or a child. I moved into the neigh­bor­hood only six months ago. My elderly mother lives here with me.

I’m torn about what to do. My heart says I should reach out to the peo­ple who live there and make friends with them. My head says stay out of their busi­ness be­cause I don’t need the drama.

How do we as a so­ci­ety not turn a blind eye to abuse in our neigh­bor­hoods and still pro­tect our­selves and loved ones? I don’t want to put my mother or my­self in jeop­ardy, but I don’t want the per­son/peo­ple in that house to think they are alone. — No More in Texas

Dear No More: While I ap­plaud you for be­ing so car­ing, for your own safety, I cau­tion you to pro­ceed very slowly in get­ting to know th­ese peo­ple. Some com­mu­ni­ties pro­vide anony­mous tip lines so cit­i­zens can re­port a crime with­out en­dan­ger­ing them­selves or their fam­i­lies. The best thing you can do is to keep your eyes open and if some­thing is hap­pen­ing, call the po­lice and re­port it. If it in­volves a child, con­tact child pro­tec­tive ser­vices.

Dear Abby: My par­ents and I were al­ways close. How­ever, re­cently they stole my debit card, my PIN and child sup­port check. They forged my sig­na­ture and spent the en­tire check, which was more than $1,000.

I am al­ways lend­ing them money. I have never said no when they needed it. To top it off, they lied to me about the check for an en­tire month. I only found out when I turned the fraud in to the bank and heard it was my par­ents who had com­mit­ted it.

Now my ac­count is frozen and I am wiped out. I have two kids and one on the way, and re­cently I lost my job. My mother keeps try­ing to make me feel guilty for turn­ing them in and doesn’t un­der­stand why I am mad. I am hav­ing trou­ble for­giv­ing them. I am just so an­gry. Should I for­give them, or do I have the right to be mad? — For­give or For­get in Michi­gan

Dear For­give or For­get: One of the hall­marks of abusers is that they try to make their vic­tims think the abuse was in some way their own fault. Your mother fully un­der­stands why you are an­gry. You must not al­low her to make you feel guilty.

Your par­ents stole from you and their grand­chil­dren. They ap­pear to have no con­science. Now you know what they are ca­pable of, it is im­por­tant that you keep your dis­tance from them, or they’ll do it again.

Dear Abby: Can an athe­ist be a god­par­ent? — Won­der­ing in Wis­con­sin

Dear Won­der­ing: Yes. To­day, the word “god­par­ent” does not al­ways have ex­plic­itly re­li­gious over­tones. A god­par­ent can be any­one the par­ents trust to take care of their child in the event of the par­ents’ deaths. How­ever, the po­ten­tial god­par­ents and the child’s par­ents should dis­cuss this in de­tail be­fore any de­ci­sion is made about con­fer­ring such an honor and re­spon­si­bil­ity.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.