Teen in tur­moil has many ques­tions and few an­swers

Austin American-Statesman - - THE PLANNER - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I’m a 13-year-old fe­male and I can’t find a job. My mom is cheat­ing on my step­dad. I feel like I have to be as in­de­pen­dent as pos­si­ble right now, oth­er­wise I won’t be able to do things.

I need to raise money for a cam­era. Pho­tog­ra­phy is my pas­sion. It’s all I want in life. It’s the only thing I’ll ever love, be­sides my grandma, who is 72 with de­men­tia.

Please help. I’m in a very big pickle. Is there any point to liv­ing? How do I get a job at 13? How do I con­front my mother? Why can’t my grandma be cured? Why is my life the worst thing about me? Please help me. — Anony­mous Teen in the Mid­west

Dear Teen: You’re very young and it’s clear you are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing a lot of tur­moil. But right now, you al­ready have a job, and it’s to con­cen­trate on your stud­ies. The bet­ter your grades are, the stronger your chances will be of com­plet­ing your education and be­com­ing an in­de­pen­dent adult. Good grades will bet­ter your chances of qual­i­fy­ing for fi­nan­cial aid to ac­com­plish that goal.

What may seem over­whelm­ing right now — in­clud­ing your sad­ness about your grand­mother’s ill­ness — can be over­come by stay­ing phys­i­cally ac­tive. I’m sorry you’re ex­pe­ri­enc­ing all this at such a ten­der age, but it would be good for both of you if you give her as much love, pa­tience and un­der­stand­ing as you can. Al­though there may be no cure for her ill­ness right now, the world­wide sci­en­tific com­mu­nity is search­ing for an an­swer.

If you have the courage, talk to your mother pri­vately about your con­cerns be­cause you may be mis­taken about her cheat­ing. It would be health­ier than bot­tling up your feel­ings as you have been do­ing.

P.S. For ex­tra money, con­sider dog-walk­ing, baby-sit­ting and odd jobs such as do­ing yard work for neigh­bors.

Dear Abby: I am deeply dis­turbed to have learned after hav­ing been mar­ried to “John” for four years, that he never di­vorced his last wife. He in­sists they are legally di­vorced be­cause she aban­doned him 10 years ago.

I feel be­trayed, used and abused, and I don’t know what to do. We’ve built a home and com­bined our fi­nances. I can’t even pay bills with­out him. If I leave, I lose ev­ery­thing I have es­tab­lished. What do I do? Please help me feel ad­e­quate again. — Be­trayed in the South

Dear Be­trayed: Talk to an at­tor­ney im­me­di­ately! If you were not aware that he wasn’t di­vorced when you mar­ried him, he has com­mit­ted fraud as well as bigamy. You should not lose ev­ery­thing you have es­tab­lished; in fact, he’ll be lucky if he isn’t pros­e­cuted.

Dear Abby: How do you know if a guy likes you? — Ash­ley in North Carolina

Dear Ash­ley: If a guy pays at­ten­tion to you or tries to get your at­ten­tion, then the odds are pretty good that he likes you.

To or­der “How to Write Let­ters for All Oc­ca­sions,” send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Let­ter Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 610540447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.