Gab ses­sion with gal pal leaves wife feel­ing hurt

Austin American-Statesman - - THE PLANNER - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I read your col­umn all the time. My hus­band and I have been mar­ried for 35 years. My hus­band has good friends who are women, and I have never ob­jected when he stayed with them when he trav­eled from our home to Michi­gan.

One of the women he stays with called and they talked for hours. That’s not right is it? My hus­band says she’s just a good friend and it’s only con­ver­sa­tion.

Like I said, I didn’t mind him stay­ing with her be­cause I trusted him. But now I’m leery and sus­pi­cious. I don’t be­lieve it’s a sex­ual thing, but a long con­ver­sa­tion hurts me more be­cause I thought I was his best friend.

I told him, “Let’s get coun­sel­ing. If it doesn’t work, we can divorce.” He said, “You’re not go­ing to stop me from talk­ing to my friends.”

Abby, I need your opin­ion. — Leery in Florida

Dear Leery: What­ever is go­ing on, you and your hus­band are hav­ing a com­mu­ni­ca­tion prob­lem. In­stead of rais­ing the sub­ject of divorce with him, it may be time for you to get mar­riage coun­sel­ing, alone if he won’t go with you.

Your hus­band should be able to talk to his friends — male and fe­male — if he wishes. For you to tell him other­wise makes you look more like his jailer than his wife. Some me­di­a­tion may help you feel less threat­ened and help you both to get back on the same page.

Dear Abby: Iama 39-year-old fe­male who hasn’t been able to con­ceive. My sis­ter has two chil­dren and one on the way. I love be­ing an aunt, but I do want to be a mom my­self. I’m recently di­vorced and have a nice home, a de­pend­able ve­hi­cle and a job that I love. The only thing miss­ing in my life is a child.

I have the op­por­tu­nity to adopt a new­born baby from a fam­ily who is un­able to care for her. She will be born in the next few months. When I speak to my friends and fam­ily about it, even though they would love for me to have a child, they say they don’t think this is the right path for me. Al­though I want a child and al­ways have, I’m now hav­ing con­cerns about it, too. Any ad­vice you could share would be greatly ap­pre­ci­ated. — Moth­erly In­stinct in Ge­or­gia

Dear In­stinct: I wish you had been clearer about why your fam­ily doesn’t feel that adopt­ing the baby would be the right path for you. How­ever, since you weren’t, let me of­fer this:

Many sin­gle par­ents suc­cess­fully raise chil­dren. At 39, with a home and a good job, you ap­pear to be fi­nan­cially se­cure enough to pro­vide for a child. Un­less you have an emo­tional prob­lem you didn’t men­tion, or lack the pa­tience to be a good mother, I see no rea­son why you shouldn’t be­come one. How­ever, be­cause your friends and fam­ily have cre­ated doubt, dis­cuss this with a coun­selor to clar­ify your think­ing.

Dear Abby: What should I say to some­one who ex­pects an in­vi­ta­tion to a wed­ding but will not be re­ceiv­ing one and they ask why they didn’t get one? — Where’s My In­vi­ta­tion?

Dear Where’s: If some­one is nervy enough to ask why he or she was not in­vited to the wed­ding, all you have to say is that for lo­gis­ti­cal rea­sons you had to limit your guest list.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.