Fly­ing solo changes woman’s per­spec­tive

Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN 260 LIFE - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Un­til re­cently, we were insep­a­ra­ble and I loved his com­pany. I got a job that re­quired me to tem­po­rar­ily re­lo­cate and be on my own, so we saw each other only ev­ery other week. Dur­ing that time, I gained a bet­ter un­der­stand­ing of who I am and how I want to spend my time.

Since then, I have re­al­ized that my boyfriend and I may not be as com­pat­i­ble as I once thought. We dis­cussed it, and he’s will­ing to do any­thing to make it work. But some things can’t be changed, such as his in­ter­ests and small quirks he has. I’m hav­ing a hard time be­cause I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be “the one that got away.” Any ad­vice would be ap­pre­ci­ated. — Look­ing For the One

Dear Look­ing: As you have found, dis­tance doesn’t al­ways make the heart grow fonder. Keep­ing some­one around not be­cause you’re crazy about him, but be­cause you’re afraid if you don’t he will be the one who got away is NOT a rea­son to con­tinue the re­la­tion­ship.

Your breather has shown that he may not be “the one” after all. That’s a GOOD thing, and not some­thing to be afraid of. So do the kind thing and let him go. That way he can find some­one who loves him — quirks and all — and so can you.

Dear Abby: My son “Jake” is headed to col­lege in the fall, and I want his last year at home to be memorable and happy. He’s a good stu­dent and has been ad­mit­ted to the col­lege of his choice. The prob­lem is, he can’t wake him­self up in the morn­ing. He switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep. I must go up to his room sev­eral times to wake him be­cause he won’t get up the first time.

Jake is oth­er­wise in­de­pen­dent. He does his own laun­dry and keeps his room spot­less. I’m spend­ing a large part of my sav­ings on his tu­ition, and I’m wor­ried that un­less he can wake him­self in the morn­ings, he won’t get to classes on time.

I have tried talk­ing to him about putting the alarm on “snooze” in­stead of turn­ing it off, but noth­ing works. My hus­band sug­gests we pour a glass of cold wa­ter on Jake’s face 10 min­utes after the alarm goes off. Can you help us solve this prob­lem? —Up Al­ready in New Jersey

Dear Up: Although you may think your hus­band’s sug­ges­tion is harsh and in­ap­pro­pri­ate, it’s time you stopped cod­dling your son. The two of you need to sit him down and tell him that col­lege is ex­pen­sive, that if you and your hus­band are will­ing to go through the fi­nan­cial hard­ship of pay­ing for it, he must wake up by him­self and if he can­not man­age to do that, he will have to pay for his own ed­u­ca­tion. Per­haps that will get across to him that you are se­ri­ous.

Dear Read­ers: While I’m on the sub­ject of get­ting up in the morn­ing, this is my an­nual re­minder to those of you liv­ing where day­light sav­ing time is ob­served: Don’t for­get to turn your clocks for­ward one hour tonight at bed­time. Day­light sav­ing time be­gins at 2 a.m. to­mor­row. I love this rit­ual be­cause it sig­nals the com­ing of spring!

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