Widow fears that wear­ing a wig is false ad­ver­tis­ing

Austin American-Statesman - - MONEY & MARKETS - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I’m a 57-year-old lady. I have been a widow 23 years and chose not to date while rais­ing my daugh­ter, who is now 26. I would now like to meet a nice man to spend time with, but I suf­fer from an af­flic­tion many older women deal with — alope­cia. My hair is very thin, but with wigs and makeup, I look at­trac­tive enough.

I’m afraid I’m be­ing de­cep­tive when I meet a man like that. When is the right time to tell a man what he sees is not what he gets? — Em­bar­rassed in Ohio

Dear Em­bar­rassed: The log­i­cal time to tell some­one would be at the point you are be­com­ing in­ti­mate enough that he would be run­ning his hands through your hair.

Dear Abby: My mother mar­ried my fa­ther in 1960 when she was barely 16. She was the mother of two chil­dren be­fore age 18. My fa­ther was older, con­trol­ling, abu­sive and un­kind to her.

She wrote to your mother for ad­vice in the 1960s, say­ing he still car­ried a photo of his old girl­friend in his wal­let and how much it hurt her. Your mother’s ad­vice to her was to “grow up.” In light of how the times have changed, I am won­der­ing what your ad­vice to her would be in 2017? Both par­ents are now de­ceased. — Cu­ri­ous Daugh­ter

Dear Cu­ri­ous: Although there were fewer op­tions avail­able for women in 1960 than there are to­day, I’m shocked that your mom re­ceived the ad­vice she did over my mother’s sig­na­ture. My re­sponse to­day would be to ask her why she had cho­sen to stay with a con­trol­ling, emo­tion­ally abu­sive man who per­sisted in car­ry­ing around a photo of his ex-girl­friend in spite of the fact that he knew it hurt his wife. And then I’d sug­gest she ask her­self whether she thought the three of you were bet­ter off with him or with­out him.

Dear Abby: I don’t like peo­ple. I live alone and hardly leave my apart­ment. I have one friend I talk to on the phone ev­ery day, and some­times my si­b­lings who live out of town, but not of­ten. The core of my is­sue may be my se­cret. I am gay and a for­eigner.

I like to surf the net, read his­tor­i­cal books, and en­joy clas­sic lit­er­a­ture nov­els. For some rea­son, I feel like hid­ing my­self away from peo­ple is mak­ing me miss out. Am I ab­nor­mal? Do I need a ther­a­pist? I have in­ter­nal peace in my life and I think I’m happy. — In­tel­lec­tual Loner

Dear In­tel­lec­tual Loner: Your sta­tus as a gay, for­eign loner who is hid­ing him­self away must be trou­bling you on some level or you wouldn’t have writ­ten to me. If you feel you could be get­ting more out of life than you cur­rently are, then it would be worth your while to sched­ule some ses­sions with a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional and do some ex­plor­ing.

Con­fi­den­tial to My Ir­ish Friends: May you al­ways have A sun­beam to warm you Good luck to charm you And a shel­ter­ing an­gel So noth­ing can harm you. Laugh­ter to cheer you Faith­ful friends near you And when­ever you pray, Heaven to hear you. HAPPY ST. PA­TRICK’S DAY!

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