Ken Herman: High drama, high jinks as clock wound down,

High jinks, drama pack hours before clock kills bills started in chamber.

The Texas House filled more than 16 hours spread over two days with enough high jinks and high drama to last for a while. So I don’t want to hear any carping about not getting value for your tax dollars.

The hours prior to a key Thursday night legislative deadline included the pas- sage of a bill after an emotional speech from a rep speaking from his heart and quiet resignation from a rep who watched the deadline kill a bill inspired by a bullet to his head.

And there was morning-after drama Friday as plans to routinely crank through local and noncontroversial bills went awry when tea party types, cranky over how things have gone for them this year, used House rules to kill all 121 bills and five resolutions scheduled for consideration.

The local bills can be considered next week as the May 29 end of the session approaches. The “consent” bills cannot. Those included measures of varying importance, ranging from who can shampoo your hair to two measures concerning maternal mortality. Happy Mother’s Day.

Let’s rewind to 10 a.m. Thursday as House members

convened for 14 hours working toward the midnight deadline for considering bills that started in the House. Faced with a 30-page list, many members knew bills further down the list had little chance of beating the deadline.

Buried on the list, with 210 measures ahead of it, was Rep. Armando Martinez’s effort to criminalize a dangerous strain of stupidity, an effort that began with a New Year’s Eve bullet in his skull and ended Thursday night with a kick to his aspirations.

Martinez’s House Bill 2583 sought to ban “the reckless discharge of a firearm.” His specific target was celebratory gunfire. Despite opposition from some gun rights advocates, the bill by Martinez, D-Weslaco, breezed through the process and wound up deep on the deadline-day agenda, a day for gallows humor in the House. Rep. Tony Dale, R-Cedar Park, tweeted a vulture photo.

And, not joking, Rep. Charlie Geren, R-Fort Worth, told colleagues it was Home Care and Hospice Day at the Capitol. Yes, especially for House members who watched their bills move toward death as the Roman-numeraled clock at the back of the chamber ticked toward midnight.

It was a day when every tick counted. And, in the midst of personal and petty politics that brought progress to a halt as the deadline approached, the House — thanks to a member’s moving and personal plea — found a way to move on. More on that in a minute.

It was something of a twilight zone on the House floor as we heard surreal stuff such as Rep. Ron Reynolds, D-Dallas, voicing support — albeit limited to “buy American” efforts — for President Donald Trump. On Twitter there was crankyosity: “The Texas House is now wasting valuable time debating a Senate bill we could hear tomorrow while House bills die at midnight,” tweeted Rep. Mike Schofield, R-Katy.

At 6:30, there was brief discussion on whether a pending amendment would result in the phrase “wiener dog” being placed in state law for the first time. There was consensus that it would be.

By 9:30, frustrated members of the House Freedom Caucus — tea partyers — stalled action by “chubbing,” the House’s time-honored method of killing time by asking questions, filing amendments and generally becoming legislative traffic hazards.

This went on for about an hour until 11 p.m. when Straus solemnly told House members to take their seats to hear a personal privilege speech from Rep. Drew Springer, R-Muenster, who wanted to talk about the next bill scheduled for debate, a measure that would allow investigational stem cell treatments for Texans with severe chronic disease or terminal illness.

Springer, crying, begged the chubbers to stand down to allow HB 810 to come up for consideration. His wife, Lydia, has been in a wheelchair since a diving accident more than 20 years ago while they were dating. The treatments envisioned by HB 810 offer some hope for her and many other Texans, Springer told colleagues.

The bill, he said, “might give somebody like my wife a chance to walk.”

“Members,” he said with raw emotion, “I’m asking you if there’s any way we can move to get to (HB) 810 and be able to help these Texans that are struggling from so many different things.”

By then, supportive colleagues clustered around Springer as he struggled to finish his remarks.

The chubbers paused long enough for the House to OK the bill, which still faces Senate review. But not all were moved by Springer’s tears.

“Where were Drew Springer’s tears for conservative legislation while he, (Rep.) Tan Parker and Speaker Straus were stalling the calendar,” Michael Q. Sullivan, president of Empower Texas, tweeted. Sullivan sides with tea partyers who believe Straus and other House leaders have blocked measures favored by the House Freedom Caucus.

On Friday, after several lawmakers gave emotional speeches in favor of an anti-cyberbullying bill, Sullivan tweeted: “Sheer number of (legislative) ‘men’ crying at the microphone and playing the victim is indicative of just how effete politicians have become.”

Back on Thursday night there were 37 minutes to go when HB 810 passed and Martinez’ reckless gunfire bill was still way down the list. He had known for hours he’d need a miracle. Midnight came. No miracle.

“I think it’s going to be pretty tough to get to it,” he had told me earlier when he arrived in the chamber.

I asked him if he wished he’d have filed the bill prior to Feb. 28, a late date.

“There were a lot of things we were working on,” he said, adding he was unable to file the bill prior to the legislative session, “because obviously we didn’t know this was something that was going to happen.”

Yes, I helpfully advised, you should have gotten shot in the head sooner.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “It wasn’t my choice to get shot.”

Assuming he wins re-election, Martinez plans to file the measure again for the 2019 session.

Buried on the list was Rep. Armando Martinez’s effort to criminalize a dangerous strain of stupidity, an effort that began with a New Year’s Eve bullet in his skull and ended Thursday with a kick to his aspirations.