Wife can’t fix woman’s re­la­tion­ship with mother

Austin American-Statesman - - MONEY & MARKETS - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: My wife and I met four years ago, have been mar­ried for two and I still haven’t met her mother. My mother-in-law, a ho­mo­pho­bic, self-pro­claimed “evan­ge­list prophet,” re­fuses to ac­knowl­edge our union.

Her be­hav­ior up­sets my wife, which angers me to the point that I have no de­sire to ever cross paths with her. My wife some­times cries about this wedge in their re­la­tion­ship, which only makes me re­sent my mother-in-law more. Is there some­thing I should do or say to ei­ther of them that might pos­si­bly help all of us deal with this tur­moil a lit­tle bet­ter? — Frus­trated Les­bian-in-law

Dear Frus­trated: If the wedge in your wife’s re­la­tion­ship with her evan­ge­list prophet mother is that she is a les­bian and mar­ried, there is noth­ing you can do. Your mother-in-law will ei­ther, with time, come to ac­cept it (don’t hold your breath), or your wife will learn through coun­sel­ing that it is not her re­spon­si­bil­ity to sac­ri­fice her hap­pi­ness to please her mother. I hope you will en­cour­age your wife to do that.

Dear Abby: I have been a daily reader of your col­umn since I was a lit­tle girl, so your an­swer to my ques­tion will be val­ued.

I eat an ap­ple ev­ery day on my drive home from work, and when I’m done, I toss the core out the win­dow. I try my best to sup­port the Earth, and I be­lieve I am feed­ing the rab­bits and birds with my ap­ple a day. Friends in­sist that what I’m do­ing is lit­ter­ing and help­ing nei­ther the furry friends nor the en­vi­ron­ment. Can you help solve the de­bate — to toss or not to toss? Thanks! — An Ap­ple a Day

Dear AAAD: I, too, love our furry and feath­ered crea­tures, but I agree with your friends. What you are do­ing is lit­ter­ing, re­gard­less of how you’re ra­tio­nal­iz­ing it. If you truly want to sup­port the Earth, keep a small con­tainer in your ve­hi­cle for the ap­ple core and dis­pose of it when you get home.

Dear Abby: I just got to­gether with a guy I re­ally like. We have been dat­ing for about a week, but now I re­al­ize I’m just not ready to start dat­ing. I’m 15 and I don’t feel I’m ma­ture enough. Also, I don’t want a boyfriend be­cause I’m mov­ing in a month. Help! I don’t know if I should break up with him. What do I do? — Cal­i­for­nia Teen

Dear Cal­i­for­nia Teen: Be­cause you are mov­ing in about a month, I don’t think break­ing up in the for­mal sense is nec­es­sary. It couldn’t hurt to tell him you think you may have got­ten se­ri­ous too quickly, be­cause get­ting se­ri­ous af­ter a week of dat­ing IS too quickly. I have a hunch that once you have moved, dis­tance will solve your prob­lem for you.

P.S. Now that you re­al­ize you’re not ready to date, when you have made the move, take a break from ro­mance and con­cen­trate on your stud­ies. You won’t be sorry.

Abby shares more than 100 of her fa­vorite recipes in two book­lets: “Abby’s Fa­vorite Recipes” and “More Fa­vorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cook­book­let Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447.

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