Dog days in newsroom may not be all that ruff

From time to time, I like to take you behind the scenes here at the Newspaper-by-theLake-That’s-Really-A-River. Today is one of those days. Lucky for you.

The two questions I get most from readers are (1) Please tell me how you folks produce the magic that is the newspaper and websites we are so blessed to have, and (B) Hey, Brooklyn boy — they pay you to write this stuff ?

The answers are (1) A total, selfless dedication to the betterment of our community, and (B) No, they overpay me.

Today’s topic is an announcement at a recent staff meeting. Perhaps you’re aware these are times of great change and challenge for newspapers. At this recent meeting, we were updated on various upcoming changes, including the addition of our content to the Alexa device, which will give you an exciting new way to yell at us.

And we heard about a new program aimed at keeping newsroom folks happy. You ever try to keep newsroom folks happy? Not easy. We’ve got good benefits, river/lakefront views and a bottomless candy drawer. Yet, somehow, not everybody in the newsroom seems happy each and every moment of each and every day. Go figure.

So management (and let’s stop here for the usual reminder that everybody in management here is brilliant) has come up with a new program. Turns out in addition to being brilliant, the management folks are kind to animals. At least some animals.

Employees with dogs — and only dogs — are being invited to bring them to work. I’m aware this is a thing in some businesses. It’s a new thing at this business that started in our sales department weeks ago. And there are rules, delineated in the “Bring Your Dog to Work Newsroom Guidelines and Acknowledgment” posted for our perusal.

These are good rules. (Management never makes bad rules.) Unfortunately, they include some rules for dogs that I fear some of my colleagues (including me on some days) would have trouble living up to.

Visiting dogs must be “up to date on vaccinations, flea and heart worm treatments (and have) been neutered.” (I’ll give you a few seconds here for your own joke about whether journalists should reproduce.) Dogs also must be “friendly, clean, housebroken and generally well-mannered.” (Hey, isn’t that the motto of the Dog Scouts of America?)

The guidelines remind us “Your co-workers are here to