Investing guide for conspiracy theorists

I spill a lot of words on the various ways people let their own wetware get in the way of their capital. For most people, their behavior is much more important than the stocks they pick or the managers they hire. The watchwords I repeat over and over are: Eliminate noise, manage your emotions, watch your costs, and understand what you own and why you own it.

Lately, I have been seeing the foolish opposite of this behavior: the belief that investors are being cheated by a cabal of market professionals who share a nefarious intent. We’ve seen this before. It used to be the market-makers who were at the heart of this conspiracy; then it was the high-frequency traders; now it’s the crypto-traders.

Of course, in every trade, as in politics, there are people on both sides. But the bull and bear sides of any market position — or the pros and cons on political issues — are not the same as a deep conspiracy operating in the shadows.

Despite having been debunked before, some conspiracy theories seem to come around again and again. To cite just a few:

Deep State: A shadowy group controls the government, executing its own agenda against the wishes of duly elected officials and the broader populace;

Deep Capture: A shadowy group of media and financial players does Wall Street’s bidding, simultaneously protecting short sellers while also preventing the market from crashing;

Deep Throat: There are shadowy secret informants with compelling and overwhelming evidence that will either bring down the president (or the market) or send his opponents (or the bears) into the wilderness, never to be heard from again.

Only one of the above has been proved true: Former FBI Associate Director Mark Felt was “Deep Throat,” the person who revealed the illegal actions of the Nixon administration to reporters at The Washington Post.

But conspiracy theories remain a powerful draw. They allow some people to explain things that seem beyond their comprehension. Enter the shadowy cabal to rationalize whatever seems to be going wrong. The search for an easy way to explain unsettling events that are beyond our grasp is a very human foible.

But however rare they may be, conspiracy theories spring to life because every once in a rare while, real conspiracies do happen. I was reminded of this recently after finishing Ryan Holiday’s delightful book, “Conspiracy: Peter Thiel, Hulk Hogan, Gawker, and the Anatomy of Intrigue.” The book is ostensibly about the legal battle between Nick Denton and his media property Gawker, and tech billionaire Thiel, who secretly bankrolled pro wrestler Hogan’s invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Gawker. Ultimately, the Thiel/ Hogan conspiracy, which was in no way theoretical, proved to be better financed and smarter than the fatuous and overly confident Gawker team.

Among the surprises Holiday shares with us was just how hard it is to plan, formulate and execute a conspiracy in secret. To create a genuine and effective conspiracy requires more than just enormous resources and an agenda; it requires a level of commitment and discipline that almost everyone lacks.

This is why we know most conspiracy theories are nonsense: Watergate/Deep Throat and Thiel/Gawker are notable because they are the exceptions.

Investors should spend their mental energy where it is most useful. I try not to worry about the Deep State. My personal priority is to avoid getting entangled in Deep Foolishness. You should, too.

You found a good financial planner to help you manage money and achieve your goals. Congratulations, that’s a big step.

Now comes a leap: opening up about money. There’s a reason it’s called “personal” finance. Almost everything about your life can influence your financial decisions, so get ready to talk about more than dollars and cents.

“The more open our clients can be, the better the planning we can do for them,” says Emilie Schaffer, a certified financial planner and associate wealth adviser with Buckingham Strategic Wealth in St. Louis.

Working with an adviser goes beyond handing off financial documents. Here’s what you can and should share when meeting with a financial adviser.

The facts — all of them

Your financial adviser will request documents as you start working together. That can include anything from account statements and tax returns to how much you make and how much you owe. The list might be broader than you expect. Be prepared to share more than your 401(k) statement even if you think you only need retirement advice.

“The best result is when a client is willing to share all the relevant information,” says Carl Goodin, a certified financial planner and president of Financial Planning Associates Inc. in Ellisville, Missouri.

That includes even those investment accounts the planner won’t manage, Goodin says. Knowing the full scope will help an adviser create a properly diversified plan.

Your goals, values

This goes deeper than generalities such as “I want to save more” or “I want to have a comfortable retirement.”

“It’s not just looking at numbers,” says Therese Nicklas, a certified financial planner and owner of The Wealth Coach for Women in Rockland, Massachusetts. “You want to know what those numbers are for.”

Be prepared to think through such questions as: What and who is most important to you? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? What keeps you up at night?

Clients often pause when asked these questions, Schaffer says. “They often come in thinking they’re just going to talk about retirement goals and planning.”

Your values give a financial picture color and shape. “The purpose is to get to know clients as individuals, as human beings,” Schaffer says. “There’s nothing off the table.”

Even the mistakes

Don’t shy from sharing embarrassing details, such neglecting to save for retirement or running up credit card debt. Financial planners have seen it all before. Schaffer tells of one client who needlessly kept $50,000 of credit card debt secret for years. “Our role is not to look backwards, but to set realistic expectations going forward and to plan for the best outcomes possible.”

Says Nicklas: “Bad news doesn’t get better with age. When you hang on to guilt, the only one who is paying for that is you.”

Decisions, big and small

Almost no financial matter is too big or small to discuss, says Angela Furubotten-LaRosee, a certified financial planner with Avea Financial Planning in Richland, Washington. Should I buy or lease a car? Should I loan money to my adult child? How should I plan for retirement if I fear getting Alzheimer’s disease?

“I hope to have the kind of relationship with clients they feel they can trust and share almost anything with me,” Furubotten-LaRosee says. “I don’t think there’s a danger in oversharing. Your life and finances are intertwined.”