CAROLYN HAX

Iam six months pregnant with my first child. I’ve been fixated a bit on who to have in the delivery room with me. Should it just be my husband, or should I invite my mom too?

In favor of my mom — we have a close relationship, she is over the moon about her first grandchild, and she is good in a crisis situation. She isn’t squeamish and she is a good advocate in speaking with doctors.

The argument against — she tends to get so overexcited about me and my life that she inserts herself too much into my life’s events. We had to have numerous talks when I was wedding-planning that it wasn’t a three-way marriage between me, my husband and my mom.

My husband is 100 percent supportive of what I decide. Is there another angle I’m missing here?

Husband only. You’re costars in this story, period.

I’d say this even if your mom were a boundaried support goddess. Just that you’re on the fence about extras means spouse only — but a mom with a history of taking over? The day your husband officially becomes a father does not need to start like that.

Plus, the way for people to be good with crises and doctor advocacy is for them to actually do it. For their own spouses and children. Show your husband you trust him in this role.

Does this mean no one’s ever right to have their mom in there? No. Everyone should do what’s right under the circumstances. But your circumstances include an overmomming mom and a perfectly capable partner and co-parent. Husband only. She can visit right after.