How to deal with space invasion on a plane
Q: You’re seated on a plane next to person who is taking up your space. Should you say something to them or to the flight attendant?
A good technique in instances like these is what I like to call the “lowest level of reaction first” or addressing the problem yourself. This helps keep things civil. Asking a flight attendant for help is a higher-level response. The “friendly conversation” approach: Strike up a friendly conversation. It’s much easier to ask for your space once you know his or her name and are on friendly terms. The “kind and direct” approach: With a smile on your face, say something like, “Excuse me, would you mind moving your elbow? It’s such a tight space on planes these days.”
If these approaches don’t work, avoid upping the ante with tit for tat. Instead, speak privately to a flight attendant and get help.
The first thing to do is assess the situation. If there’s an empty seat in your section of the plane, discreetly ask the flight attendant if you can move.
If there’s no other seat available, ask yourself whether your seatmate can reasonably do anything about the situation. Are they encroaching on your space because they’re larger than the seat they’ve booked? There’s probably not a whole lot you can do.
If your seatmate could take up less space, try to start a polite conversation and mention you’d appreciate some of the armrest. “View from the Wing” blog Social Graces is a series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations. Andreea Ciulac is a freelancer.