How a #MeToo moment can empower male victims
Last week, a report revealed that Asia Argento, one of the women who last year accused Harvey Weinstein of assault, had herself allegedly paid off a man who accused her of sexual assault. The report said the encounter occurred when Argento was 37 and Jimmy Bennett, who once acted with her as her character’s son, was 17.
The New York Times reported the allegations after receiving documents detailing them. In a statement, Argento has denied the allegations and said, “I am deeply shocked and hurt by having read news that is absolutely false.” She said her boyfriend, Anthony Bourdain, who died in June, made the payments to “help Bennett economically, upon the condition that we would no longer suffer any further intrusions in our life.”
Later in the week, a photograph surfaced that appears to show Argento and Bennett in bed together.
One local therapist said such a high-profile case involving a male accuser might make it easier for men who have experienced abuse to come forward.
A #MeToo situation where a man comes forward can include different considerations, said Joyce Marter, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Urban Balance, a group of dozens of therapists at several locations in the Chicago area.
Men who have experienced harassment or assault might find disclosing a situation where they felt powerless emasculating, Marter said.
“Traditionally masculine psychology is that you’re in control, you’re in charge, you’re strong, you’re powerful,” she said. “And so to have a traumatic experience where you were powerless can really make it challenging to feel positively about your identity as a man.”
Many of the cases in the #MeToo movement have involved accusations against men, but others have included men as the victims. Former NFL player and actor Terry Crews said last year that an agent groped him at a party; multiple men have accused actor Kevin Spacey of sexual assault and inappropriate behavior.
Male clients at Urban Balance have been empowered by the #MeToo movement, Marter said. But men who have been sexually abused by other men might be hesitant to disclose the abuse, especially if their encounters left them uncertain about their sexuality.
“Does that mean that they’re gay or bisexual, or what if aspects of it felt pleasurable or they got aroused, what does that mean about them?” she said.
Marter said the first Facebook post she saw about someone saying “Me Too” was from a man disclosing abuse that happened when he was 5. Hearing the Argento news made her think about other men who might also be affected.
Stereotypes about gender roles can lead to some people viewing a case in which a woman is the offender as something other than a violation.
In the Argento case, Marter said, “I think people would respond very differently if that were a man in his late 30s and a 17-year-old girl.”
For example, some people might think Bennett was lucky to receive attention from an attractive woman, she said, instead of Argento’s alleged actions being a violation or an abuse of power.
Marter said a highprofile case of a man coming forward with allegations about a woman might be empowering to those who have experienced something similar, but haven’t seen their situation exemplified yet by #MeToo.
“I think it’s an opportunity for people to become more educated and informed,” she said.
“It can be very triggering, but I do think that it is empowering and normalizing and validating to see that other people have gone through it, and by talking about it we’re showing that this isn’t going to be swept under the rug,” she said.