Building circles of trust
The do’s and don’ts of ‘quarantine pods’
As parents face the possibility of a summer devoid of camps, pool parties, barbecues and vacations, many are wondering what they can do to keep their families sane.
One idea that some families are considering — and that infectious disease epidemiologists think might be a smart way to balance mental health needs with physical safety — is to create quarantine “pods” or “bubbles,” in which two or three families agree to socialize with one another but no one else. In a pod, families hang out together, often without regard to social distancing — but outside of the pod, they follow recommended social distancing rules.
The reality is, people need social contact, and some families are struggling without it. So we need to find ways to socialize safely.
“The ideal thing is that we just stay home forever and never see anybody — but that’s just not sustainable,” said Zoe McLaren, a health policy researcher in the School of Public Policy at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.
Julia Marcus, an infectious disease epidemiologist at Harvard Medical School, agreed.
“We don’t want to prevent disease at the expense of overall health,” she said.
So why and how should you start a pod, and what ground rules should you set to keep it as safe as possible?
When pods make sense
Certainly, there are ways to be social that don’t involve pods. The ideal option, of course, is to gather over Zoom or FaceTime — no germs involved. If your kids get what they need from virtual meetups, those are certainly best.
There’s also the socially distanced play date — when kids get together but remain at least 6 feet apart, ideally wearing masks. But can you really socially distance a play date? Experts are skeptical, particularly for younger children.
“Spending an hour with a friend in masks sitting on a front porch 6 feet apart — there’s actually more risk involved in that than you might think,” McLaren said, because of the possibility of kids exchanging germs via the air they share.
Because of these concerns, carefully chosen pods may be safer than having distanced play dates with multiple families, particularly when young kids are involved. Plus, if someone in your family gets sick and you’ve been spending time with various families, contact tracing gets harder.
Choosing a pod
If you think your family needs a pod, you’ll first want to ponder whom to approach. To minimize your risk for catching and spreading COVID-19, you’ll want to find a family that is being as careful as you are — a family that is mostly staying home, wearing face coverings when they go out in public, and not otherwise socializing in person.
“If the other household is already caring for their neighbor and playing occasionally with their cousins, then there are a number of ways an infections chain could start,” said Stefan Flasche, an infectious disease epidemiologist at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
The idea is to create a closed loop — each family in the pod does not have contact with people outside the pod.
It’s also crucial that you choose a family whose judgment you trust. Families are inevitably going to encounter risky situations, and you want to be able to trust that they will make smart decisions, McLaren said. Likewise, you’ll want to pod with a family that will be transparent and open about what they encounter and experience. If someone sneezes on a member of your pod at the grocery store, you’ll want that pod member to tell you about it so that you can all discuss next steps.
Finally, pick a family that will enrich your family, said Emily Oster, an economist at Brown University. Do the kids like each other? Do you like the other parents? Are there things you can do together that will make the summer more fun?
If you’re going to pod up, you might as well choose a family that helps you “become more than the sum of your parts,” Marcus said, as that will make your quarantine experience more sustainable.
Negotiating a pod
If you decide to try a pod with another family, brace yourself for some awkward conversations. First, the other family might not want to pod with you or has podded with someone else. It’s like high school prom all over again. If they are interested, you’re going to have to discuss your personal and private life with them — what you do every day, how you get groceries, how often you order takeout, Oster said.
Sit down for a Zoom or FaceTime conversation and set some ground rules — this is just a conversation, and there will be no hard feelings if either family decides not to move forward. Remember that this is a very trying time, and the most important thing is that you remain friends.
Next, talk about what you’re hoping for and share details about your daily life and the precautions your family takes. The goal is to determine whether you and the other family are on the same page with regard to how you approach quarantine and what you are looking for.
If you decide to move forward with a pod, set some firm ground rules. What kinds of activities are OK, and what’s off-limits? What might constitute a “breach” in the pod (such as a trip to the doctor’s or dentist’s office)?
“The more communication you have upfront about the various scenarios and how they might play out, the easier it’ll be to navigate those situations as they arise,” Marcus said.
If there is a breach, you can always pause the pod for two weeks while the exposed family quarantines.
Creating a pod isn’t going to be easy. It will probably feel “really weird and hard,” Oster said, because we’re not used to navigating such uncertainty, and so many strange and rigid rules, with other families. Still, for some families, pods could provide a way to stay sane while we all continue to try to stay safe.