Baltimore Sun Sunday

Unfriendin­g toxic family members

- By Hannah Herrera Greenspan

SOCIAL GRACES

Q: Should you unfriend toxic family members from Facebook?

A: Absolutely. It’s called self-care. Social media needs to be a place where people can feel empowered and find informatio­n that will benefit them, not make them feel more irritated.

I prescribe deleting assignment­s to my clients when they start feeling overwhelme­d by social media. Many of them want to completely delete the app from their phones because they’ve had it. Rather than extreme behaviors, I use positive psychology with my clients to sort through what might be a good reason to stay on Facebook, and deleting friends or family members who might not be serving the purpose of social media activity.

When I suggest this, sometimes their response is: “What if someone finds out and confronts me?” I suggest taking an honest approach and saying you just needed to take a break.

— Kelley Kitley, psychother­apist and owner of Serendipit­ous Psychother­apy

A: If you are tired of Aunt Sally’s endless political posts or another family member’s toxic remarks, you shouldn’t be forced to endure their daily negativity. One option you may want to consider before cutting the cord and unfriendin­g them is muting people, pages or groups by snoozing their posts for 30 days. If that’s not effective enough, Facebook users can also unfollow family members, hiding their posts entirely without unfriendin­g, saving you from seeing toxic content, messages or people. The muted family member won’t be notified, and the good news is that muting and unfollowin­g can be reversed at any point.

If you decide you don’t want any online associatio­n with that person and decide to unfriend altogether, the good news is that it’s hard to see who unfollowed whom on Facebook.

— Myka Meier, etiquette expert and founder of Beaumont Etiquette

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