Should your work spouse and real spouse meet?
Q: Your work spouse wants to come over and meet your real spouse. How should you proceed?
A: First, make sure your real spouse is comfortable with it. The situation needs to be set up where your real spouse never feels left out or uncomfortable or suspicious.
When you’re all together, don’t sit there chatting only about work. Your spouse isn’t there every day and doesn’t know what the heck you’re talking about! Laughing and bonding only with your work spouse can make your real spouse feel left out. Don’t make your real spouse be the getter of all the food. No, if anything, you need to get up and say, “Honey, can I get you a drink?” Talking to and serving your real spouse first is important.
Don’t flirt. It’s easy when you’re with your work spouse to be laughing a lot or kind of touch their shoulder — don’t do that, ever, but definitely not in front of your real spouse. It’s a matter of putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How would you feel if your spouse was doing this? Be cognizant of how you’re handling yourself in front of your real spouse, but again, you should not be doing these things behind the scenes either.
If your real spouse is uncomfortable with the idea of a work spouse altogether, you should take a step back and reevaluate.
In fact, there is some research that shows the majority of employees that have work spouses are admittedly romantically attracted to them. And I will be humble and honest here: If my husband had a work spouse, I would have an issue with it, and I can say for him, on the record, he would feel the same way. Your boundaries become blurred. Kulaga is author of “The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance.”