My stepfather was murdered by machete six years ago. Here’s what I would say to him today
My stepfather, Avijit Roy, was a Bangladeshi-American writer and engineer. While visiting Bangladesh, he was violently attacked with machetes and murdered on the street, as he left a book fair with my mother, who was also attacked and suffered life-threatening wounds. This happened six years ago, as of Friday. Ten days prior to this distressing anniversary, five of the attackers, members of a terrorist group inspired by al-Qaida, were sentenced to death in a Bangladeshi court.
This verdict does not bring me closure — so many questions about the forces underlying his murder remain unanswered. If I could talk with my dad today, this is what I would say.
Dear Dad,
People took pictures of you after the attack. One photo shows your glasses and a chunk of your brain, lying in a pool of your blood on the pavement. I think of this image every few months.
But in the days leading up to the verdict in your murder (yes, it took almost six years for Bangladesh to hear your case in court), I couldn’t stop thinking about your glasses on the ground.
I’m no better at drawing now than I was when you were alive, but I sketched your glasses on a piece of paper. I drew all sorts of sights around D.C. into the lenses of those paper frames: monuments, memorials and other places you’ll never know. I pass by them every day now, as a D.C.based graduate student at the University of Maryland focusing on investigative journalism.
America doesn’t seem to care much for journalists now. Neither does Bangladesh. But if you were around, I hope you would say: “Journalist? That’s even better than a scientist!”
Which means I didn’t become the scientist you were so excited for me to be.
I couldn’t commit to it after what happened to you. To deal with the trauma of losing you and nearly losing Maa, I became obsessed with other people’s stories. I started collecting them in Baltimore as an undergrad at Johns Hopkins, and then all over America, finding that so many others are also dealing with fathers, brothers, cousins and friends being killed.
You should know that you changed the world, Dad. People marched in the streets for you. Millions of people learned your name. I’m sure you would ask me, excitedly: “Does that mean the world is more rational now?”
I don’t think so.
After you died, the attacks continued. Your attackers were affiliated with a group known as “al-Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent.”
They didn’t like what you wrote about science and secularism.
In the months after your death, extremists killed your friends. And your publisher. And a bunch of other people you didn’t know. The attacks were graphic, with machetes and ISIS videos and witnesses who might never forget seeing their partners die.
I’m realizing now, after six years, that the news of each murder gashed fresh wounds into scars that were not done healing for you. Getting better is taking me so long, Dad. I’m still mourning you, but also them.
On Feb. 16, some of your attackers were sentenced to death. Knowing they’re going to die doesn’t make me feel better about losing you. Their loved ones will mourn them too.
Though these five were charged with carrying out your attack, so many more were involved in the planning, execution and silencing of Bangladeshi bloggers. Some orchestrators have never been caught, or even identified. After the verdict, Maa asked questions I wish could answer: Where are the masterminds of the attack? Why was one leader killed in police custody, years before the trial?
“Money used to flow in to kill bloggers, publishers and [gay people]” in Bangladesh, one of your publisher’s attackers confessed. So, who funded your murder?
I thought, if the Bangladeshi investigators don’t have answers, then maybe journalists will. Unfortunately, Bangladesh — like many countries now — is imprisoning journalists for speaking out.
Just last year, Bangladeshi journalist Shafiqul Islam Kajol mysteriously disappeared for 53 days after criticizing a
government official’s alleged sex-trafficking involvement. When he resurfaced, Mr. Kajol was then sentenced to seven years in prison, under Bangladesh’s controversial 2018 Digital Security Act, which restricts free speech. Two other journalists were jailed in May under the same law.
Thankfully, Mr. Kajol had a kid, who fought for his father’s release and gained international attention. Mr. Kajol was released from jail after seven months, instead of seven years.
Cases like his and yours, which are only the tip of the iceberg, keep me up at night. When I finally sleep, you tend to die. I still wake from violent dreams and feel tired all day, desperate for rest. I might have actually forgotten how to rest. But maybe, like you, I’ve never known how.
I remember your late nights writing, your determination to change minds — but most vividly, I remember your songs. When you couldn’t get topics you were writing about, like “intelligent design,” out of your head, you’d turn those words into loud, belted-out tunes. I remember us dancing to them. I wonder, if you were here now, would you still be singing and dancing with me?
There’s little point pondering hypotheticals. But one hypothesis comforts me: As long as there are people like Mr. Kajol’s son and your daughter, the world will be forced to provide answers — as we bend societies toward your vision of rationality, of equity of peace.
With homebound nominees appearing by remote video and hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on different sides of the country, a very socially distanced 78th Golden Globe Awards trudged on in the midst of the pandemic and amid a storm of criticism for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, with top awards going to “Nomadland,” “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm,” “The Crown” and “Schitt’s Creek.”
The night’s top award, best dramatic film, went to Chloe Zhao’s “Nomadland.” The Chinaborn Zhao became the first woman of Asian descent to win best director. She’s the first woman to win the award since Barbra Streisand won for “Yentl” in 1984 and only the second woman in the history of the Globes.
“‘Nomadland at its core for me is a pilgrimage through grief and healing,” said Zhao, accepting the awards remotely. “For everyone who has gone through this difficult and beautiful journey at some point in their lives: We don’t say goodbye. We say, See you down the road.”
Facing scant traditional studio competition, streaming services dominated the Globes like never before. Amazon’s “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm” — one of the few nominated films shot partly during the pandemic — won best film, comedy or musical.
Its star guerilla comedian, Sacha Baron Cohen, won best actor in a comedy. Referring to Rudy Giuliani’s infamous cameo, Cohen thanked “a fresh new talent who came from nowhere and turned out to be a comedy genius.”
“I mean, who could get more laughs from one unzipping,” Cohen said.
Netflix, which came in with a commanding 42 nominations, won the top TV awards. “The Crown,” as expected, took best drama series, along with acting wins for Josh O’Connor (Prince Charles), Emma Corrin (Princess Diana) and Gillian Anderson (Margaret Thatcher).
The streaming service’s
“Queen’s Gambit” won best limited series and best actress in the category for Anya Taylor-Joy. “Schitt’s Creek,” the Pop TV series that found a wider audience on Netflix, won best comedy series for its final season. Catherine O’Hara also took best actress in a comedy series.
Chadwick Boseman, as expected, posthumously won best actor in a drama film for his final performance, in the August Wilson adaptation “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” — a Netflix release. Boseman’s wife, Taylor Simone Ledward, accepted the award.
“He would thank God. He would thank his parents. He would thank his ancestors for their guidance and their sacrifices,” Ledward said. “He would say something beautiful, something inspiring.”
Apple TV+ scored its first major award when a sweatshirt-clad Jason Sudeikis won best actor in a comedy series for the streamer’s “Ted Lasso.”
Fey took the stage at New
York’s Rainbow Room while Poehler remained at the Globes’ usual home at the Beverly Hilton. In their opening remarks, they managed their typically welltimed back-and-forth despite being almost 3,000 miles from each other.
“I always knew my career would end with me wandering around the Rainbow Room pretending to talk to Amy,” Fey said. “I just thought it would be later.”
They appeared before masked attendees but no stars. Instead, the sparse tables — where Hollywood royalty are usually crammed together and plied with alcohol during the show — were occupied by “smoking-hot first responders and essential workers,” Fey said.
In a production nightmare — but one that’s become familiar during the pandemic — the night’s first winner accepted his award while muted. Only after presenter Laura Dern apologized for the technical
difficulties did Daniel Kaluuya, who won best supporting actor for his performance as Black Panther leader Fred Hampton in “Judas and the Black Messiah,” get his speech in. When he finally came through, he wagged his finger at the camera and said, “You’re doing me dirty!”
Pandemic improvising was only part of the damage control for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which puts on the Globes. After the Los Angeles Times revealed that there are no Black members in the 87-person voting body of the HFPA, the press association — which Ricky Gervais last year called “very, very racist” in his opening monologue — came under mounting pressure to overhaul itself and better reflect the industry it holds sway in.
This year, none of the most acclaimed Black-led films — “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” “One Night in Miami,” “Judas and the Black Messiah,” “Da 5 Bloods” —
were nominated for the Globes’ best picture award. With the
HFPA potentially fighting for its Hollywood life, Sunday’s Globes were part apology tour. Fey and Poehler started in quickly on the issue.
“Look, a lot of flashy garbage got nominated but that happens,” Poehler said. “That’s like their thing. But a number of Black actors and Black-led projects were overlooked.”
Within the first half hour of the NBC telecast, members of the press association also appeared on stage to pledge change. “We recognize we have our own work to do,” said vice president Helen Hoehne. “We must have Black journalists in our organization.”
Other awards included Pixar’s “Soul” for best animated film; Rosumund Pike took best actress in a comedy or musical film for “I Care a Lot”; and Aaron Sorkin (“Trial of the Chicago 7”) for best screenplay.