Student Bloopers
Ihave judged a few UIL writing competitions and occasionally I have seen some great bloopers. One student wrote this headline: 39 YEAR OLD TEEN GETS ARESTED. I know there was a mistake, but the headline made me want to read the article. Another student reporting on a speech wrote: The speaker arrived promptly from 1 to 2 PM. His twin daughters were in the audience, Alice 9 and Betty 7.
Bernard Rains taught school 30 years and saved some of his students’ bloopers. “I was talking about the War of 1812 when the British came in and burned Washington. One student piped up and said she didn’t know that was how he died.”
Once the subject was Columbus and Mr. Rains asked the class when he discovered America. One student replied, “1492.” Mr. Rains praised the student. In an effort to give him more status with his classmates, he asked the student what month. The student replied, “October.” Still more bragging from Mr. Rains. He took a chance and asked the student what day. The student replied, “Tuesday?”
One of his classes had 27 students and on an assignment he got 27 papers. Two of them were exactly alike including the name. When the subject was Henry the 8th, a student didn’t quite hear right and said, “Henry the Ape. I don’t know who gave him that name but it’s a funny one.”
Years ago there was a story about student bloopers in history classes across the country. Here are some highlights from the history of the world.
People who lived in ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The first book of the Bible, Guinesses, says Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
Socrates was a Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, hurled biscuits and threw the java. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place very long. At banquets Romans wore garlic in their hair. The Ides of March murdered Julius Caesar.
In Medieval times the greatest writer was Chaucer who wrote poems, verses and literature. William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his head. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh invented cigarettes. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. England defeated the Spanish Armadillo. Hamlet relieved himself in a long soliloquy. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands. He said, “In Onion there is strength.” Bach and Handel were composes. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large. Beethoven was deaf so he wrote loud music. Queen Victoria sat on a thorn for 63 years.