Annie's Mailbox
Wanting Health and Happiness for Daughter
Dear Annie: I've noticed in the past several months that my 15-year-old daughter has been steadily gaining weight. I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life and absolutely do not want my daughter to have the insecurities and low self-esteem that I have.
She is not active at all, and remote learning isn't helping the situation. I encourage her to make healthier choices but have to be very careful with what I say, especially because weight and self-image are such a touchy subject with any girl or woman. Is this something my daughter will have to figure out on her own? -- Hoping You Can Help
Dear Hoping: The answer to your question -- if this is something she has to figure out on her own -- is yes and no. Take the focus off the numbers on the scale and move it onto feeling good in your body. If you start to walk and do a form of exercise that makes your body feel good, then she will follow you. Self-esteem is created from within; it's not something we gain by looking a certain way.
Find a sport or activity that she might enjoy. Fifteen-year-olds have lots of energy, and she can channel some of that by being part of a sports team. It doesn't matter if she is a good athlete; what counts is that she is having fun. I know that many sports are on hold for now because of lockdowns. By the spring, perhaps she can join a new team. In the meanwhile, the two of you could go for walks together, try yoga classes online or find time to dance to the latest Tiktok craze.
Continue to focus on your own health and happiness, remembering that more is caught than taught. If she sees you exercising, making healthy food choices and being kind to your body, then she is more likely to make the same choices.
Dear Annie: This is addressed to "Confused About Cellphones." A partial fix would be to take data off the phones. Our kids have cellphones that text and call only. They have internet usage at home on other devices, and this solution really helps! -- A Different Way
Dear Different Way: That sounds very clever. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Annie: I met this guy on a dating app. He seems to be pretty nice, but he's moving too fast. We have only been talking for three days, and he has told me he loves me several times. He seems to be genuine, but I have to protect my heart in case he's not. I want to hang in there because I don't want to miss out on a good guy. But he doesn't want to take things slow. I'm not sure what to do. Please help! -- Totally Confused
Dear Totally Confused: Part of a healthy relationship is respecting the other person's personal boundaries. Saying, "I love you" after only three days of talking does seem fast, but you are the only one who knows in your heart if it feels genuine or if it could be reciprocated with time. These are questions for you to ask yourself. And while you're discovering this, clearly communicate that you would like to slow down as you get to know each other more. If he doesn't respect that, then you have to move on. The best guy is the one who respects your boundaries.
Earth Sign Grand Trine
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Whatever you're doing together, a good rule of thumb is to make it easy for the other person. That will, in turn, make it easier for you. For now, don't worry about the score. Let your natural generosity prevail.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Though you've experienced a certain interpersonal interaction too many times to count, you've only just started to catch on to the deeper implications. You'll recognize a dynamic for the first time.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Some consider forgiveness a divine act they aspire to do easily and generously. Others are glad to hold a grudge for as long as their hands can clasp it. Events will bring into focus your thoughts on the matter.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Revel in the details but shun pettiness. Both deal in the granular, but the difference is easy to detect. Small matters that spark a sense of mastery, creativity and amazement are worthy of you. Small ugly things are not.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When you take action, you do it with the intention of experiencing some of life's best stuff, including, but not limited to, radiant connections, deep satisfaction or big adventure.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Strangers will get the extra-charming version of you today. You don't want to cheat more familiar people out of your special brand of attention; it's just that it's so easy to dazzle the ones who haven't experienced you before.
LIBRA (Sept. 23Oct. 23). The things you enjoy have an impulse, an electric buzz you can feel when you get close. When you interact with these things, the energy goes into you, fueling your next move.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24Nov. 21). As the director of your life, you get to decide how many takes to do before you move on to the next scene. You also get to decide which takes go into the final cut you present to the world.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your muse comes knocking, and you open the door. It's a risk letting a muse inside. You get the inspiration, but you also have to entertain her with your creations, which require work -worthwhile work, by the way.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Knowing what a person wants gives you options. You can provide it if you have it, create or find it if you don't, or you can opt to withhold the wanted thing to drive up its value.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Though a trip to the zoo can be a wondrous, enlightening experience, it comes with the bittersweet reminder that there are limits to freedom. You won't need a zoo visit to be reminded of this today.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Every conflict is different. Some should be avoided, some are obstacles in the way, and some are the way itself. Don't automatically back off. Assess the situation and see if there's anything in it for you.
TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 3). You'll define and redefine yourself. What you won't do is let anyone else in on the process, as becoming fully self-realized is an inside job. You will allow others to advise, support and promote you though, and you'll have excellent care in this regard. Summer endeavors ignite your sense of adventure and alter your lifestyle. Aries and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 30, 22, 16 and 18.
FORECAST FOR THE WEEK AHEAD:
The butterfly had a problem of getting eating by the lizard, so it evolved colorful wings that looked like the eyes of a large owl to scare the lizard away. The owl evolved feathers for a soundless flight and the ability to swoop up a lizard lunch undetected. Problems are the wheel of evolution. And they are also the wheel of your personal evolution.
The first full week of a new year is waved in by an encouraging earth sign grand trine involving the Virgo moon, Capricorn sun and Uranus in Taurus. There's magic here, but it's not the sort that covers the whole scene in a blanket of good luck. Instead, this is the magic of excellent planning and hard work. It all starts with a problem. What do you need to solve in the new year? These skies call forth your practical instincts to figure out how to get from here to there. Also favored: the pencil, the checklist and the advice of your most down-toearth friends. Put your creativity to the task of writing down as many ways to solve your problem as you can think of. Include action steps that are doable and ones that are outlandish. Go for a grand quantity of ideas, and later the Mars change will assist you in organizing them.