Art as a Constant
“The Longing”
Painting has been proven to be not only therapeutic, but it also can help with your emotional intelligence and growth. Expressing ourselves through images we create can convey things we can’t communicate through words. Many artists use their work as a way of selfexploration and reflection.
One of the biggest challenges for me has been this aspect of the creative process.
For most of my life it has been a struggle sometimes to decide to paint something for myself rather than what I think other people will want to see.
When I can paint what I feel without regard of possible criticism, I feel the most liberated.
Of course we all want someone to ooh and ahh over our work, but I have found that sometimes something is lost when we focus on pleasing others.
It has been said that art is reflective of our history. Individually and in society.
I especially love paintings that are the result of an artist processing a life event. The strongest emotions such as grief or anger tend to result in more dramatic and colorful works. Caravaggio was an artist who I consider to be the poster child of angry painters because through his work and exploits he managed to accomplish expressing his true feelings about religion while producing some of the most beautiful and moving paintings in history.
He was incredibly talented, but couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble with the law due to his frequent bar fights, bullying and terrorizing the community. He was often commissioned to paint, but would spend all his money on booze and prostitutes.
He had a rough childhood and had a lot of anger because of it, but I’m not here to give a history lesson. He is worth a few minutes on Google however. An introvert he was not, a lot of artists are though. For introverts who tend to internalize their emotions, painting is a perfect vehicle to come to terms with a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one.
I have often said that painting has kept me sane and I dare say that it saved my life following the death of my husband.
Grief, especially the loss of someone most dear, can take you to dark places. Such was the case for me, but after a lot of soul searching and contemplation, I was in a better place, but still was struggling.
My son and my family were grieving too and we
Alcatraz with my cousin and his wife.
As I was planning what to include in the painting a color theme began to emerge. A monochromatic theme of sienna values came to mind. As I began to paint I felt better and I began to incorporate some humor such as a thinly veiled ghost and a carnival far off in the distance.
“The Longing” was a labor of love and as I progressed through its creation I was able to come to terms with life and its many trials and tribulations. It also reinstated a lost momentum and a realization that while it’s essential to know the basics, rules can be bent or broken.
I can’t really explain why I chose where to place what except for the carnival in the background and the cemetery at the front of the painting. Those images are what I thought of first. The happy images, i.e., the carnival and the Alcatraz chapel are set in the distance to represent the lost joy I was feeling.
“Solitude,” the lone fox making its way through the snow represented loneliness and not sure of which way to turn.
“Distraction,” was a painting that manifested through anger, frustration and resolution. It was also a very large painting and I’m grateful that it sold because it was a monster to move.
Completing these paintings during that time made me realize that life, whatever it is or will be, is worth living. As long as I can paint.