LAUNCH RAMP FOLLIES

LAUNCH RAMPS HOST FREE ENTERTAINMENT ON THE WATERFRONT.

Bored and looking for a good show? Instead of binge-watching Netflix, take your lawn chair and a cooler to the launch ramp and enjoy the free entertainment. That aphorism is well-worn and mean-spirited, but helpful in that we can learn from the mistakes of others. The show often starts with a relaxing prelude as the majority of trailer boaters launch and load without mishaps or mayhem, all while exercising good launch ramp etiquette. But then the action spikes as one or more boaters come along with eye-popping performances that are anything but routine. This reality show reaches its crescendo on warm weekends when crowds of fair-weather boaters decide to take out their boats on sunny afternoons. It features a cast of characters that run the gamut from the blameless newbie to the reckless, the ridiculous and the outrageous. Many experienced trailer boaters try to avoid launching their boats at busy times, and often instead grab a rampside seat themselves to watch the lake show. So, without further ado, we introduce the key characters in this comedy of errors known as the Launch Ramp Follies.

These represent just a few of characters and performances you’ll see at the Launch Ramp Follies. There are many more. For example, there’s Skip Alyne, whose impatience to get in the water quickly leads him to cut in front of other boaters who have been waiting to launch. His daredevil maneuvers will amaze you.

It’s hard to miss Wilt the Tilt. His performance starts off loud as he seems to always forget to trim down his outdrive before starting the engine to pull the boat off of the trailer. The pop, pop, pop of unmuffled exhaust is sure to set you back in your lawn chair as you wonder just how long his water pump will last.

Finally, there’s the Paddle Party, a group of performance artists whose most common work consists of seeing how many kayaks they can park at the water’s edge of the launch ramp while other boaters wait offstage for their time to perform in the Launch Ramp Follies.