The devil was in my dangerous driving, officer
A man crashed his car into seven vehicles on a highway in East Lansing, Mich., because, he said, the devil was trying to enter his body. He said that God prevented that from happening, but the struggle between The Prince of Darkness and The Lord God Almighty resulted in his driving erratically. Officials sent him for a mental health evaluation just to be sure he wasn't suffering from some sort of delusion.
THAT’S FUNNY, YOU WEREN’T DRUNK WHEN YOU CAME IN HERE
... A young woman swilled down five beers in the liquor aisle of a Florida Wal-Mart, then asked the manager for a ride home because she was drunk.
GOOD, COULD YOU TELL HER WE’D LIKE TO SEE HER?
... The Beaver County Times received the obituary of a 21-year-old woman, wanted for theft, forgery and passing bad checks in both Chippewa Township and South Strabane, Pa., saying that she died “unexpectedly.” Though sad, this would have put a suspiciously convenient end to police involvement in her life. However, a quick call to her grandmother revealed that the young lady is still alive.
CALL IT AN URGE TO ENGAGE IN CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR
... Two men made a phone call saying there was a bomb on the Greyhound Bus that had picked them up at a New York prison from which they had just been released. They were unable to explain to arresting officers why they did it.
MAY WE BE OF ASSISTANCE, MA’AM?
... A woman who went to the Puente Ayala prison in Barcelona, Venezuela, with a suitcase because she was there for an overnight stay with her car-thief boyfriend tried to leave the next morning with him inside the suitcase. Guards became suspicious only because they saw her struggling to get it out the door.
HONEY, I THINK YOU’RE OVERREACTING
... A man in Dundalk, Md., who became enraged when a family member took a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich, fired his pistol and barricaded himself inside his home for about five hours.
HEY SARGE, I THINK WE HAVE A CLUE HERE
... A man decided to rob a bank in San Diego after he had swiped his debit card at the teller's window, making it very easy for police to track him down. He is in jail now.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE
... When her boyfriend refused to pay for her to have her hair and nails done for her birthday, a Florida woman slashed him with a knife. She was charged with battery causing great bodily harm.
OH SURE, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME
... A couple returned to their home in Melbourne, Australia, at 11 a.m., and discovered that a man had broken in, taken a shower, dragged their bed into the living room and went to sleep. He ran away when they confronted him.