Never-married couple don’t want truth to get out

Q

Over 50 years ago, at 22 and despite being recently married, I left Portugal to find work in the United States. I got a job here. Each month, I sent money to my wife. Two years later, I told my wife I wasn’t ever again going to live in Portugal. Although I sent my wife money to get us divorced in Portugal, she didn’t do that. She’s still alive, and we’re still married.

I needed that divorce so I could marry the woman I was living with in Illinois. We had children. We told our friends and children, and then our grandchildren, that we had eloped.

Now, 49 years later, I’m worried that when I die my Portuguese wife could demand part of my assets. And then everyone would learn we never married. Help!

A

First, you can divorce your Portuguese wife in Illinois because you’ve been domiciled there for years. A divorce granted in your domicile — after your wife receives advance notice and would have due process to oppose it — is valid.

Second, when you file your Illinois complaint for divorce, also file a motion and your affidavit in support of impounding your case. I don’t know Illinois law. But it may be that a kindly judge will seal your case because no one would be harmed. And, if not sealed, lots of folks would be upset if they ever checked files at the court.

Third, you must serve your wife with a copy of the summons and complaint. You may be able to serve her by publishing a copy of the summons in your local paper. But that’s not a good way to keep a secret.

Instead, you need to hire a process server in Portugal to personally serve your wife with copies of the complaint and summons. The process server can be any independent person, such as a notary public or the local constable. Then the process server signs a statement — under oath — that service was accomplished by in-hand delivery. I’m guessing it is unlikely that your wife, after she is served, will pay an Illinois lawyer to fight the divorce.

Fourth, after the time has passed for your wife to file her opposition, you and your Illinois lawyer will go before the judge to have your divorce allowed. I suggest you get a late-afternoon court hearing when there are fewer folks hanging around.

Fifth, then explain the situation to your priest, minister, etc. Arrange for what you’ll tell the children and grandchildren is a renewal of your marriage vows. You could even have that “renewal” on the same day you told them you had eloped.

Then, when the words “I now pronounce you man and wife” are said, you’ll really be married to the love of your life. Gerald L. Nissenbaum has been a trial lawyer in Boston since 1967 and concentrates his practice on family law. Any legal advice in this column is general in nature, and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Send questions to dearjerry@bostonherald.com.