You’re not letting him go?
In an effort to get his buddy — with whom he had done time — out of jail, a man faxed a fake court memo to the county jail in Lincoln. Neb., saying that the friend's bond had been paid and that he should be released. But he was caught because he sent the fax on a day when the court was closed, and it also included his own phone number and email address.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT
... A man who had tried to run over sheriff's deputies in Stuart, Fla., was asked by the officers why he had crack cocaine in his car. He replied, “Because I smoke it. Don't I look like it?”
YEAH, IT FEELS LIKE WE’VE DRIFTED APART
... A 70-year-old man robbed a bank in Kansas City then waited in the lobby for police to arrest him, telling officers that he'd rather be in jail than spend one more day with his wife.
A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN RIGHT HERE ON EARTH
... A woman stopped rush-hour traffic in Houston by getting out of her car stark naked in the middle of the highway. She said, “I'm an angel. I'm an angel.” She then got back in her car and drove off.
AND THERE’S NO WAY THAT THEY’LL EVER CATCH ME
... Two young men stole two high-performance Porsches, valued at more than $120,000 each, which were being delivered to a dealership in Hapeville, Ga. Police arrested one of them after he posted cellphone video of himself driving one of the vehicles on Instagram boasting “that everyone else was stealing Fords, and he's got a Porsche.”
YIPPEE! A DAY OFF ... UH-OH, ANYTHING WRONG, OFFICER?
... A man who showed up drunk for work at his office in Allentown, Pa., was ordered to leave by his supervisor. Alas, he was arrested for drunken driving as he exited the parking lot.
IS THAT AN ELECTRO ACOUSTIC STRATOCASTER OR YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?
... A man was captured on surveillance video of a man stuffing a guitar down his pants in a music store in Fort Worth, Texas, and walking out without paying for it.
NO, I DON’T HAVE THE WEED; I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE WEED
... Three drug dealers rented a hotel room in Secaucus, N.J., from which they conducted their illicit business, and then checked out the next day. But they were arrested because they accidentally left behind a pound of marijuana, which the cleaning staff found and turned over to the authorities.
MESS WITH ME, WILL YA!?
... Two neighbors in Machias, N.Y., got into a major argument as one of them was blowing snow onto the other guy's property. One of them got his shotgun and blasted the tires of the other guy's vehicle while he was sitting inside it. The shooter was charged with reckless endangerment and menacing.