Rule No. 1 for criminals: Don’t attract attention

A man who dressed up as a woman in a bright lime green dress and a multicolored wig, and robbed a bank in Palm Bay, Fla., made his getaway on a bicycle down the city's busiest street. Everyone noticed him because of his outrageous outfit, and many passers-by were able to tell officers that he ran inside a home several blocks away. The cops came and persuaded him to give himself up. BEST! TEACHER! EVER! ... A substitute teacher at a high school in Pawhuska, Okla., did a cartwheel in front of her students apparently forgetting that she

wasn't wearing panties.

YOUR HONOR, DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU

‘DUDE’? ... An attorney in Louisiana was suspended for doing legal work in exchange for marijuana. He was caught when an informant, who reported that she had once paid him in weed, said he offered to represent her again for the “same old, same old.”

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BILL JUST DOESN’T SEEM

RIGHT SOMEHOW ... Police have warned that someone is trying to pass counterfeit money at businesses in Juneau, Alaska. They said that the bills have the words “Motion Picture Use Only”

printed on them. Other than that, they look real. I WAS JUST TRYING TO

MOTIVATE THE OFFICERS ... When a woman's car was stolen from in front of her home in central Ohio, she told police that her 4-yearold daughter was sleeping in the back seat so they would try harder to get it back. The cops sprang into action and recovered the vehicle a mile away, but they arrested her when they discovered that she was lying about the child. I THINK WE’VE LOCATED THE PROBLEM, MA’AM ... A woman in Bremen, Germany, called police complaining that she was hearing an unrelenting “drilling” sound coming from upstairs, and that she feared that intruders were trying to break into her home. Cops found that it was a sex toy that had turned itself on when it fell into her bathtub. AND HE CALLS HIMSELF

A BUSINESSMAN!? ... A woman called the police in Canada's Northern Territories to complain that her drug dealer was ripping

her off by charging too much for marijuana. She demanded that they investigate the situation, which she called “outrageous.” HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP

TO, BIG BOY!? ... Burglars broke into an art shop in West Sussex, England, but were apparently scared off by a 6-foot-tall sex doll they had mistaken for a real woman. OF COURSE WE’LL GET AWAY WITH IT ... Two teenagers robbed the same convenience store in Oceanside, Calif., four times, so the cops put the place under surveillance. Sure enough, the lads robbed it one more time, and were surprised to find the officers waiting for them. STEP ON IT, I THINK WE

CAN LOSE THEM ... UH-OH ... Two men who had outstanding warrants against them led police on a 40-mile chase after officers pulled them over in Des Moines, Iowa. They were caught when they ran out of gas.