Glimpses into victim’s ‘horrifying’ life

Jasmine Grace Marino kept journals during the five years her pimp sold her for sex. Here are some excerpts:

JULY 14, 2000

…. I'm in love with a pimp. Hello. What did I fall into? …. Just me & him but I hate the fact that in order to be with him I have work and on top of that, pay the dude!.... When we fought all day yesterday he got so violent & I got so emotional. It was terrible…. Does this dude mean that much to me, that I will put myself for sale, just so we can get paid?

OCT. 10, 2000

Well once again, I've come to a conclusion. No more.... Not one bit. I hate the situation. B and I got into another bad fight sunday night. I feel like all he does is control me & everything I say is wrong…. The aggravation, his voice, getting heated. So he pulled me up the stairs, I screamed for his mom and brother to come out in the hall and make him stop, but when I grabbed on to his mother's leg for help she shook me off …. I told him that I feel he disregards what I say & he got mad, picked me up from the shirt and threw me across the room. I hurt my back so bad against the metal frame of the bed. All I could do was cry.

JUNE 7, 2001

…. I hate that I gotta share B & “break myself” everytime i work, then ask everytime I want something. ... I hate it! It's hard. I want to be his woman, and that's why i tattooed “B's First Lady.” I'm his lady. I want to be that one … that holds it down. But I don't want to be his ho. I don't want to work for him. It's just so hard & it's a terrible thing & it's a damn shame 2 people can't grow together because of this stupid lifestyle we call “pimps & hos” or “the game.”

JUNE 13, 2002

Why Why ... I feel so Bad right now. I'm sitting here on my floor crying as usual. I have that terrible feeling inside my body. I want to scream or something. I need to Escape this. I hate it. B is really hurting me. It hurts so bad.

OCT. 2, 2007 (her last journal entry after she got clean and left B.)

Well it seems to be getting better …. You fear what you don't know But you have to have faith that it would, whatever it is, will work out. As long as I'm doing everything 4 the Right reasons Right, meaning w/ love and good intentions. Not self-seeking — then i should have faith that it will be oK. It's just that i'm afraid, scared, of what i don't know. But i have to have faith in Myself. Therefore I will. It will be OK.