Of course it’s my car, officer
A man who was recently released from jail drove a stolen car to a courthouse in Albuquerque, N.M., where he was set to be fitted with an ankle monitor that would allow authorities to track his whereabouts. Police had already been following him, thanks to a LoJack device that had been recently installed in the vehicle.
I APPRECIATE THE OFFER, MA’AM, BUT NO ... A Florida Highway Patrol officer was about to give a field sobriety test to a woman he had pulled over for drunken driving when she said, “I feel like kissing you.”
YES, RIGHT THIS WAY, MA’AM ... A package containing five pounds of methamphetamine was delivered to the wrong address in Bono, Ark., and the man who received it turned it in to the police. The cops then contacted the woman for whom the package was intended, and asked her to come down to the station to pick it up. She was immediately arrested.
DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE!? ... A police officer confronted a couple having sex under a blanket outdoors in Sebastian, Fla. They told the cop he had no right to arrest them because they were members of the Illuminati, a secret society made up of world leaders and intellectuals who use their influence in an effort to control the world. The officer did not believe them.
SORRY, SIR, I’M GOING ON MY BREAK ... A man handed a note to a teller in a bank in Pontiac, Mich., demanding money and implying that he had a gun. But the teller just walked away, forcing the would-be robber to flee the scene empty handed.
BUT I’M NOT ADMITTING ANYTHING, OFFICER ... A man was arrested for DUI in Newville, Pa., while wearing a T-shirt that says “Drunk Lives Matter.”
SEE, I TOLD YOU HE WAS CRAZY ... The family of a man in Tuscany, Italy, called emergency services because a relative was exhibiting erratic behavior and they felt he was suffering from psychiatric problems. When the ambulance arrived at the family home, the man leapt into the front seat, stole the vehicle and drove it nearly 95 miles before he was caught.
YEAH, SURE, TARZAN ... A Chilean tourist who got lost in Bolivia's Amazon rainforest reported that he was able to survive for nine days because a group of monkeys helped him by dropping him food from the trees and leading him to water and shelter. Park rangers were skeptical of his story.
DO YOU HEAR BUZZING? ... After getting an anonymous phone call informing him that his wife of 18 years was cheating on him, a man caught her in the act by spying on her with a drone. He launched the device and it provided aerial photographs of her meeting up with her lover when she said she was at work.
HEY, I’M THE VICTIM HERE! ... Due to the fact that she “had been drinking most of the day,” a Palm Beach, Fla., woman couldn't remember where she left her 6-year-old daughter. So she reported the child kidnapped in the hopes that the police would be able to find her. The cops soon got to the bottom of it.